In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society.

#countries #proportion #people #trend #effects #society

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

With the development of medical technology and the low

Correct your spelling

newborn

show examples

new born

Correct your spelling

newborn

show examples

rate, the

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

situation is apparent in many countries, especially in developed countries. In my view,

this

Linking Words

phenomenon is harmful to society in the long run. The rising older population means the

reduce

Replace the word

reduction

show examples

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

rate, which would make it difficult for companies to hire enough qualified employees. While without enough young employees, corporations or organizations would

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lack

Change preposition

apply

show examples

innovation. The shortage of

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

can induce

the

Correct article usage

show examples

lower quantity of products. Especially for the necessary products,

such

Linking Words

as food, water, medicine, the satisfaction of

life

Use synonyms

would be

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

effected

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

seriously. Even worse, the

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

price may rise constantly, which would induce a higher product price. The price of

Add an article

the product

a product

show examples

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

, would not only affect our daily

life

Use synonyms

, but

also

Linking Words

the development of industries. Except that, the high proportion of aged people can be a afford for the whole society.

High

Correct article usage

A high

show examples

aged rate means that the government is required to input more capital to tackle the related problems,

such

Linking Words

as healthy,

Correct word choice

and caring

show examples

caring

Replace the word

care

show examples

. While the funds could be allocated to promote education systems or transportation systems. The adults

Change the verb form

are

show examples

required to take care of their parents or grandparents. It is necessary for people to earn more money

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if they choose to live together and enjoy a

high quality

Add a hyphen

high-quality

show examples

living

Change preposition

of living

show examples

surrounding

Fix the agreement mistake

surroundings

show examples

. But people

also

Linking Words

need to pay more attention to their parents, since they may need to address the older people’s daily

life

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

condition, it would be unlikely for adults

feeling

Change the verb form

to feel

show examples

satisfied with

life

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, the rising proportion of

aged

Add an article

the aged

show examples

population would seriously do harm to society.

Submitted by monicahe0211 on Tue Apr 12 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?
Some people argue that in particular countries lot of individuals are becoming intrigued in looking out about the past story of the place that they live in. I believe that this phenomena is good and can make a few impacts. Through this essay I will explain what and how, regarding this issue.
7.5
band
Meat production requires relatively more land than crop production. Some people think that as land is becoming scarce, the world’s meat consumption should be reduced. What measures would be taken to reduce the world’s meat consumption? What kinds of problem might such measures cause? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience.
The last 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in meat consumption. This raises a certain question about its production given that land sources are limited and producing meat demands more area in comparison to crop production. In order to reduce meat consumption, in this essay, I will explore some solutions and explain the difficulties that would emerge after applying those solutions. The reasons for this are as follows.
8
band
Some people argue that exams put too much pressure on university students, but others think that dealing with pressure is an essential skill to develop before people begin employment. Discuss both sides of the argument and present your opinion.
An educated young generation of any country will always lead to a bright future. It is often claimed by the public that academic assessment of colleges is becoming a burden for students; as a result, they have to face excessive pressure. Hence, it will impact their mental growth. However, others think quite the opposite. They should focus on practical knowledge; so that they can get better employment opportunities. I am going to talk about both aspects in upcoming paragraphs.
7
band
The media has become too influential in peoples lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's fast-paced world, the media and the internet play a crucial role in our day-to-day lives. I completely disagree with the idea that social media has negative results. while some believe that social media could waste our time and compromise privacy, I contend that media could have both pros and cons and i will elaborate on my opinion.
5
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In today’s word of hectic alterations, some individuals tend to throw in the towel in seeking better life and make do what they have whereas other proportion of mankind have a desperate endeavor to figure out the auspicious path to acquire more from life. I myself profoundly reckon that missing the boat is not the eventual option and there is always place for improvement.

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?

Some people argue that exams put too much pressure on university students, but others think that dealing with pressure is an essential skill to develop before people begin employment. Discuss both sides of the argument and present your opinion.

The media has become too influential in peoples lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.