Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #health #responsibility #government

There is an ongoing debate about who is responsible for the state of public

health

However

, whereas some

people

claim that

this

should be the duty of

government

, I agree with those who think

people

themselves should be responsible for

this

, while the

government

also

needs to take

actions

Fix the agreement mistake

action

show examples

encouraging

Change the verb form

to encourage

show examples

its citizens to lead healthier lives. With regard to the role of

government

, an important one is to ensure that citizens achieve a certain level of fitness and

health

This

is because the income that the

government

generates from its

Correct your spelling

taxpayers

show examples

tax payers

Correct your spelling

taxpayers

show examples

suppose

Wrong verb form

supposed

show examples

to be allocated to different sectors,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

one of which is the public

health

system. If the

government

does not pay enough attention to improving public

health

, more

people

would be more vulnerable to diseases and

illness

Fix the agreement mistake

illnesses

show examples

, which would become a burden on public hospitals and

Correct your spelling

taxpayers

show examples

tax payers

Correct your spelling

taxpayers

show examples

Therefore

, the

government

should focus on how to improve

people

’s

health

and encourage them to live

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthier life. As for individuals, there is no doubt that they should be more responsible for their own

health

than others

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because no one can actually suffer the pain for them.

In addition

health

problems will not only affect

people

themselves

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

their family members.

For example

, if a person is sick, his family will need to pay a large amount of money to treat his illness, which may cause the family to suffer financial difficulties.

Therefore

people

should take the greatest obligation for their own

health

and not leave it to the

government

. In conclusion, I believe,

although

Correct word choice

that although

show examples

individuals should take more responsibility for their own

health

, meanwhile, the

government

also

need to take measures to improve the level of public

health

Submitted by queena9324 on Tue Apr 12 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public health
Government responsibility
Individual responsibility
Vaccination programs
Anti-smoking campaigns
Subsidized medical services
Healthcare accessibility
Socioeconomic status
Food safety regulations
Pollution control
Occupational safety
Lifestyle choices
Self-education
Proactive management
Personalized healthcare
Comprehensive health system

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Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Teenage pregnancy is on the rise in many countries. Why is this? What measures are there to tackle this problem?

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need to print books, magazines and newspapers on paper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?