Task 2: People think that children nowadays have more freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #freedom

Nowadays, people tend to believe that children have more autonomy than they had in the past. Hereafter, I will underline why I partly support

this

statement.

Firstly

, I think that someone's rate of freedom depends on their personal situation and

this

has not changed over the years.

This

is because some people do not have the financial

recourses

Correct your spelling

resources

show examples

within their families to do everything they want.

For example

, if you have to get by with 50

euro's

Change noun form

euros

show examples

a week with your whole household, you will not have the financial opportunities to

occupy

Verb problem

show examples

the same activities as someone without these problems.

Furthermore

, there are more laws and social control within society.

Hence

, you need to be more aware of what you post on social media or the way you behave.

For instance

, if you post on social media that you drove a car

while

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

drunk, others will not accept it in the same way as they did a few decades ago.

Consequently

, it will decrease your social rights.

Nevertheless

, the parents of the children are demanding less from their kids.

Subsequently

, they have more liberation to do the things they really like

instead

of listening to their parent's ideas. When your parents told you to work 30 years ago, you had no other choice than to get hired. Today, you have more liberation to decide if you really want to do that. In conclusion, people have more freedom if they have the right financial conditions and if they are aware of the societal control of their behaviour.

Submitted by larsvdknaap on Tue Apr 12 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

improvement

Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the factors influencing children's freedom but could benefit from a clearer stance on the extent to which the author agrees or disagrees. Consider providing a more definitive position and supporting it throughout the essay.

improvement

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay exhibits a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, to enhance coherence, ensure each paragraph is focused on one main idea and transitions smoothly to the next. Additionally, use cohesive devices such as transition words to connect ideas more effectively.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their abiliy to form personal relationships. other believe that these sites bring people together in beneficial way. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary society, the role of the social media and networks are important. However, it is seems like a wrong decision to say that do not use social media will always restrict people's careers.
4.5
band
Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
As our world become seamless, nowadays it is common for several people to buy meal throughout the various source, for example by using application embedded on smartphone. On the other hand, there is remains the people who believed if prepare meal by our hand should bring the positive effects, I believe the advantages are greater.
4
band
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Most of museums consider fees for entering and visiting whereas the others are free. There are some pros and crons for this issue but overall, in my perspective the benefits are more than the drawbacks.The following essay will discuss the statement.
6
band
Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion
These days, many governments claim that economic growth is the most crucial prospect for countries, however, some people advocate that other fields, such as education and health centres, equally deserve to be taken into consideration by the government. While economic progress may have a strong influence on the lives of the public in different ways, l admit that education and health-related progress can have more benefits.
4.5
band
The Education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. some believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for society and more funding should be made available for it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Most countries believe that the younger generation must be given the first chance to study and educate themselves. Whereas, others believe that educating the older generation and teaching them is of significant importance. I believe that most countries are doing the right thing.

Task 2: People think that children nowadays have more freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their abiliy to form personal relationships. other believe that these sites bring people together in beneficial way. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The Education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. some believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for society and more funding should be made available for it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?