People think that children nowadays have more freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, people tend to believe that children have more autonomy than they had in the past. Hereafter, I will underline why I partly support

this

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statement.

Firstly

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, I think that someone's rate of freedom depends on their personal situation and

this

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has not changed over the years.

This

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is because some people do not have the financial

recourses

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resources

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within their families to do everything they want.

For example

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, if you have to get by with 50

euro's

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euros

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a week with your whole household, you will not have the financial opportunities to

occupy

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the same activities as someone without these problems.

Furthermore

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, there are more laws and social control within society.

Hence

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, you need to be more aware of what you post on social media or the way you behave.

For instance

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, if you post on social media that you drove a car

while

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being

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apply

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drunk, others will not accept it in the same way as they did a few decades ago.

Consequently

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, it will decrease your social rights.

Nevertheless

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, the parents of the children are demanding less from their kids.

Subsequently

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, they have more liberation to do the things they really like

instead

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of listening to their parent's ideas. When your parents told you to work 30 years ago, you had no other choice than to get hired. Today, you have more liberation to decide if you really want to do that. In conclusion, people have more freedom if they have the right financial conditions and if they are aware of the societal control of their behaviour.

larsvdknaapTue Apr 12 2022

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improvement

Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the factors influencing children's freedom but could benefit from a clearer stance on the extent to which the author agrees or disagrees. Consider providing a more definitive position and supporting it throughout the essay.

improvement

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay exhibits a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, to enhance coherence, ensure each paragraph is focused on one main idea and transitions smoothly to the next. Additionally, use cohesive devices such as transition words to connect ideas more effectively.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

257 words

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People think that children nowadays have more freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks.

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Scientists predict in the near future cars will be driven by computers, not people. Why? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?