Some high school required all student to wear school uniform other higher school permit student to decide what to wear to school. which of these two school policies you think is better?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Academic and Professional background I graduated in 2014 with a
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
degree in doctor of dental surgery
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2014
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
Cantho University of Medicine and Pharmacy, Vietnam. After graduation, I worked as a community
health
worker and dental clinician at a local medical
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
Can Tho city, Vietnam for 4 years. In 2018, I was awarded a scholarship from the Danish government including
full
Correct article usage
a full
show examples
tuition fee waiver and
monthly
Correct article usage
a monthly
show examples
stipend
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
1100 CAD for my
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
education in Public
Health
at the University of Southern Denmark. After graduation in 2020, I decided to apply for a visa extension to stay in Denmark with a motivation to explore
this
beautiful country and enrich more practical experience
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
public
health
and
health
technology area. During my time in Denmark, I collaborated with a start-up company in Copenhagen as a medical advisor to work on a digital
health
project about developing a wearable device that helps monitor patients with chronic lung diseases remotely. I feel very fascinated
about
Change preposition
by
show examples
this
project and it has nurtured my strong interest in
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
technology area. My career motivation I have a strong interest in technology and want to combine it with my background in healthcare to enhance treatment quality, disease prevention and life quality of patients and healthcare workers. I am
also
passionate
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
starting my own
health tech
Add a hyphen
health-tech
show examples
company in the future to provide affordable medical devices and digital care services to improve
life
Add an article
the life
show examples
quality of patients.
Moreover
, I
also
dream of working as a university lecturer who provides training to medical professionals and
researcher
Fix the agreement mistake
researchers
show examples
to conduct digital
health
research in Vietnam.
As a result
, enrolling in a professional
health
informatics
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
program will be a legitimate choice to help me equip fundamental knowledge in digital
health
, learn how eHealth innovations are applied and sharpen my technical skills in data analysis. Why
Canada
? There are several reasons that motivate me to pursue my education in
Canada
. At
first
, I wish to learn in a peaceful and friendly environment as in
Canada
where international students are welcomed by warm and friendly local Canadians and given opportunities to learn and integrate with the local culture.
Secondly
,
Canada
is one of the countries that equip top-notch medical facilities with novel research and talented experts in the medical fields.
Moreover
,
Canada
has
also
applied numerous innovative eHealth applications at different levels from electronic medical records at hospitals to telemedicine or remote monitoring systems
at home
Add a hyphen
at-home
show examples
care facilities.
Therefore
, students will be able to approach these modern facilities and learn from experts in the field.
Additionally
, the tuition fee in
Canada
is quite affordable compared to other countries
such
as America or Australia where the tuition fee and living
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
are more costly.
Submitted by npanhtuan09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: