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Band 2.5

Essay topics: As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#topics #inventions #computer #television #people #activity #effect #health
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Technological advancement is playing a major role in changing our mental and physical state. People are living sedentary life which is creating health issues for them and the development of electronic gadgets like television and computers is one of the major
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
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 in it. In my opinion, I agree that excessive usage of these devices has significant drawbacks. Several downsides are associated with the improper use of electrical devices. One of these is that some individuals dedicate almost a whole day in to
use
Wrong verb form
using
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 their mobiles. Their screen time on social media
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
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such
Linking Words
 as Whatsapp, Tiktok and Instagram is
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 alarming.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they have no free time to focus on their life goals and other essential things like doing physical activity.
This
Linking Words
 thing is not only
Correct your spelling
affecting
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effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
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 their eyesight but
also
Linking Words
 decreasing
creative
Correct pronoun usage
their creative
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 skills. Another principal reason of involving in
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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 social activities is that many workers now work from home on the screen of
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
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 or mobile. They gain weight work from home on
laptop
Correct article usage
a laptop
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 or computer. individuals do not
got
Correct your spelling
go
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 to
office
Correct article usage
the office
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 nowadays. weight gain or obesity issues.
Submitted by farrukh.maqsood on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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