IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Why you think this is the case and what effects this has on the individual and society in general.

#people #time #hobbies #case #effects #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Unlike
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who are interested in hobbies is seen declined considerably. Multiple factors might have caused
this
Linking Words
, and
this
Linking Words
 trend has some undesirable effects, both
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the individual and
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. The primary factor which might have caused
this
Linking Words
 is the changing living patterns of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans. In the past,
people
Use synonyms
 had enough time to spend after their work.
However
Linking Words
, the situation is different in
this
Linking Words
 ultra-modern society, in which
people
Use synonyms
 are running short of time to satisfy their needs and desires. Another factor
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 attributes to the issue could be the changing attitudes of
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
 today are interested in being online for recreation and relaxation, as evidenced by their addiction
towards
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the same. Turning to the consequences of
this
Linking Words
 trend,
Linking Words
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 one should look at it
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 an individual perspective. Here, when hobbies are neglected, an individual might have problems with his emotional and intellectual balance. To be precise,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real emotional happiness and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productive intellectual learning are more likely to be lost when
this
Linking Words
 happens.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 social perspective, when
this
Linking Words
 situation happens,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society might go selfish in nature, which may ultimately result in untoward incidences like burglary and murder.
Therefore
Linking Words
, one can definitely say the outcome of
this
Linking Words
 trend is mostly negative in nature. In conclusion, it is clear that hobbies are activities which are
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
productive
Replace the word
produced
show examples
 in nature, which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 seen side-lined today due to various factors of modern life. One should understand that
this
Linking Words
 should be brought back to their lives.
Submitted by ahreishcamify on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: