Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?

Self-employment has always been viewed as the best type of
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occupation
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occupations
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occupation
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and some people have been trying to run their own
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businesses
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business
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businesses
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instead
of being recruited by companies for years.
Although
it might be preferable to be employed by others, being self-employed suffers from the disadvantages that leave them with a great amount of expenses and little time for themselves. The following essay will look at two reasons that I believe make
this
phenomenon negative.
Firstly
, running new businesses
require
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requires
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owners to invest a lot of money to compete with successful existing companies.
This
is because for a small company to be known they need to either have good advertisements or provide better services.
For instance
, it is hard to encourage a customer to buy sneakers from an unknown brand
while
they are satisfied with Nike or Adidas
,
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apply
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unless these new products are being advertised by famous people who charge them
alot
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a lot
to introduce
this
new product on
the
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apply
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social media.
Consequently
, regarding
to
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apply
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the
competitory
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competitive
environment of
twentieth-century
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the twentieth-century
a twentieth-century
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industry, being successful needs
ones
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one
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to spend
alot
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a lot
.
Secondly
, owning a business gets several hours of a day to regulate
every thing
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everything
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, especially if it is new.
In other words
, an employee usually works for specific hours a day and
rests
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apply
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the
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apply
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remain
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remains
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at home
while
owners not only should work during those hours but
also
are usually involved with the job at their homes.
For example
, the owner of a new company receives several phone calls from different employees out of
workhours
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work hours
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and
have
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has
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to manage all for their business to be remunerative.
Thus
, they are busy every
days
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day
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and are deprived of an off day, which employees are
privillage
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privileged
privilege
to have.
To sum up
,
self-employement
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self-employment
might have a good image, but I believe its disadvantages negate its benefits. For a new company to grow, owners should spend most of their money and time.
Submitted by panizfathi70128 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported with examples but could be more relevant and focused. There are some logical coherence and cohesive issues, and the logical structure could be improved to enhance the flow of the essay.
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The essay provides a complete response to the task, with clear and comprehensive ideas. However, the examples provided could be more relevant and focused. Make sure to address the question directly and present a well-organized response with more specific and appropriate examples.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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