Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?
Self-employment has always been viewed as the best type of
Fix the agreement mistake
occupation
occupations
and some people have been trying to run their own Fix the agreement mistake
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
instead
of being recruited by companies for years. Although
it might be preferable to be employed by others, being self-employed suffers from the disadvantages that leave them with a great amount of expenses and little time for themselves. The following essay will look at two reasons that I believe make this
phenomenon negative.
Firstly
, running new businesses require
owners to invest a lot of money to compete with successful existing companies. Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
This
is because for a small company to be known they need to either have good advertisements or provide better services. For instance
, it is hard to encourage a customer to buy sneakers from an unknown brand while
they are satisfied with Nike or Adidas,
unless these new products are being advertised by famous people who charge them Remove the comma
apply
alot
to introduce Correct your spelling
a lot
this
new product on the
social media. Correct article usage
apply
Consequently
, regarding to
the Remove the preposition
apply
competitory
environment of Correct your spelling
competitive
twentieth-century
industry, being successful needs Add an article
the twentieth-century
a twentieth-century
ones
to spend Fix the agreement mistake
one
alot
.
Correct your spelling
a lot
Secondly
, owning a business gets several hours of a day to regulate every thing
, especially if it is new. Correct your spelling
everything
In other words
, an employee usually works for specific hours a day and rests
Verb problem
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
remain
at home Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
while
owners not only should work during those hours but also
are usually involved with the job at their homes. For example
, the owner of a new company receives several phone calls from different employees out of workhours
and Correct your spelling
work hours
have
to manage all for their business to be remunerative. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Thus
, they are busy every days
and are deprived of an off day, which employees are Change to a singular noun
day
privillage
to have.
Correct your spelling
privileged
privilege
To sum up
, self-employement
might have a good image, but I believe its disadvantages negate its benefits. For a new company to grow, owners should spend most of their money and time.Correct your spelling
self-employment
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported with examples but could be more relevant and focused. There are some logical coherence and cohesive issues, and the logical structure could be improved to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, with clear and comprehensive ideas. However, the examples provided could be more relevant and focused. Make sure to address the question directly and present a well-organized response with more specific and appropriate examples.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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