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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some networking sites have improved the level of communication between individuals but at the same time have also led to a number of problems. What problems have social networking sites caused and what can be done to reduce the extent of these problems?

In our modern time, the benefits of utilization of communication online platforms and networking
sites
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 are well-known in order to communicate with other
people
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 that are far away.
Although
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 recent networking
sites
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 have a lot of benefits, there are
also
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 numerous
problems
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 that should be overcome instantly.
This
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 essay will look at the cause of
problems
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 and how to overcome the following. In recent years, it is undeniable that the number of crimes related to cyber hacking and personal data robbing has been increasing significantly. The attractive advertisement
in
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on
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 the networking site,
it
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apply
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has led
people
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 to lose their personal information unknowingly by transferring their personal data to exchange for some benefits. According to these
problems
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, the related organizations and government should be concerned about how to protect
the
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apply
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innocent
people
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 from
hacker
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hackers
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 and educate them about the danger of cyber approaching.
For example
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, the government would announce the law and intense punishment for
the
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apply
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illegal activity.
As a result
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, the number of cyber hacking could be reduced significantly due to fears of the law.
In addition
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, one of the
problems
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 with networking
sites
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 is the illegal action of the unidentified avatar. Most
people
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 on social media would have ever argued with some unidentified avatar about body shaming, bullying and accusation. These
people
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 who have experienced
this
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 situation would lack confidence and be looked down on by others even though it is not real.
However
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, these scam avatars are not responsible for their actions because no one could identify them. To ensure that every situation would not happen. The solution to
this
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 problem is that the founder and controller of every online platform should scan the personal information of the
people
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 who are signed up intensely before approving.
As a result
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, if an argument or critique between
people
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 on an online platform occurs, it can identify who they are and let
people
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 think carefully before taking an action. In summary, the recent networking
sites
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 have potential advantages.
However
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,
people
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 should be concerned about the disadvantages involved with the scammer. Eventually, the related organizations would be responsible for controlling every illegal situation that will happen and educating
people
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 to understand how to use the networking
sites
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 efficiently.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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