IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, fewer and fewer people go to universities to study science. What’s the reason for this? What can be done to encourage people to learn science.

#countries #people #universities #study #science #what’s #reason
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In our modern times,
students
Use synonyms
 who prefer to study in major in
science
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 less and less. The reason for the problem may be from education or
students
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will look at the reason for
this
Linking Words
 and the purpose of the solution.
To begin
Linking Words
, there are many reasons why
this
Linking Words
 problem occurs. First of all, in school,
science
Use synonyms
 class is not interesting for people and
also
Linking Words
 it is hard to understand.
For example
Linking Words
, physics learns about the gravity of the earth and it is difficult to understand because gravity is not able to see.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if
students
Use synonyms
 want to enter in major
science
Use synonyms
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the university, they have to study hard since high admission exam scores are required.
Thus
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 have to spend a lot of money to hire a tutor in order to teach them for admission exams but it does not always work. That way people are not interested in studying
science
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there are many solutions that can solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the government should improve education.
For instance
Linking Words
, the government can provide a fund for
science
Use synonyms
 learning equipment that can help people understand easier.
Secondly
Linking Words
, every academy should provide a tutor to teach the entrance exam. As an illustration, high schools hire tutors for
students
Use synonyms
 compared to high schools without a tutor. In a high academy that has a special teacher. There is a
rate
Correct word choice
higher rate
show examples
 of pupils who can
entrance
Replace the word
enter
show examples
college than in a high academy without a special teacher. In conclusion, the causes of
this
Linking Words
 issue are that these subjects are too hard to learn and pupils have to spend most of their money to attend.
However
Linking Words
, all causes can be solved with the help of the government and schools that can provide everything to prepare pupils.
Submitted by march03042543 on

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task response
Your essay lacks depth and analysis. To improve your task response, try to provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure and smooth transition between ideas. To enhance coherence and cohesion, organize your essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences and use linking words to connect your ideas.
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