The growing number of overweight is putting strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved.some people think that the best way to deal with this issue is that introduce more physical activities in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#strain #health #care #system #effort #people #activities #school #curriculum

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Most

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apply

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diseases

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the diseases

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are caused by

overweight

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being overweight

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issue

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issues

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Increasing

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An increasing

The increasing

show examples

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number

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the number

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of fat

people

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cause

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causes

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strain on the

health

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care

system

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. Some

people

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suggest that body movement

activities

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should add to

school

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the school

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syllabus. I personally agree that

involve

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involving

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the

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apply

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physical

activities

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in the school curriculum to dilute

overweight

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the overweight

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issue

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issues

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and enhance

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health

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the health

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care

system

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This

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essay will

sunstantiate

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substantiate

my opinion

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the paragraph below. Beginning with the

first

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reason, the

incrasing

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increasing

of detrimental food nowadays is more easily accessible.

Teenager

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Teenagers

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getting a chance to gain weight

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apply

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faster than before.

Hence

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, putting physical education into the curriculum is one way to prevent

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increasing

incresing

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an incresing

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number

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of overweight.

For example

Linking Words

, if we add the movement

activities

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apply

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the

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apply

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less

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fewer

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diseases

occured

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occurred

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the students because they are forced to move their

body

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bodies

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according to the subject. There

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are

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not only

enhence

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enhance

enhanced

health

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issues but

also

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creativities as well.

Excersise

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Exercise

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the

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main key to

prevent

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preventing

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the

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apply

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harmful diseases.

Secondly

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, some

people

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said that prevention is much cheaper than

resolve

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resolution

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Sedentary

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A sedentary

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lifestyle

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life style

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lifestyle

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can lead to many

sickness

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sicknesses

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. If

people

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do more outdoor

activities

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the blood circulation

system

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work as a

preventor

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prevention

for soft

tissue

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tissue-damaging

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damaging

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damage

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in our body. In conclusion,

refering

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referring

reasons

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the reasons

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above

the

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apply

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physical

activities

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can reduce

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the

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chance of

ailment

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an ailment

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. Adding more physical

activies

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activities

activity

in the academic

instutitions

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institutions

increase

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the

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number

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healthy

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a healthy

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population

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populations

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in the future. The

less

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fewer

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number

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sickness

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sick

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people

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the less strain on the

health

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care

system

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. The

goverment

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government

can retain the taxes which

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are

show examples

use

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used

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to spend on the

system

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Submitted by sarawanee.ph on Sat Apr 16 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
55
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

255 words

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The growing number of overweight is putting strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved.some people think that the best way to deal with this issue is that introduce more physical activities in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In the developed world, the average life expentancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages.

Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encourage to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified worked such as electrians and plumbers. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.