These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A large number of people are migrating to other places from their hometowns as they become adults.
This
Linking Words
essay will argue that the advantages of
this
Linking Words
outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will
first
Linking Words
demonstrate why moving to a different place is beneficial for the future career of a grown-up, followed by an analysis of how the primary disadvantage, getting distracted from the goal and becoming deteriorated. The main reason why young adults travel to some other location rather than staying at their homeplace is to achieve future success in their life and to become independent in highly developed countries or cities where they can get out of their comfort zone and acquire skills to get highly paid.
Therefore
Linking Words
, reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
financial freedom.
For instance
Linking Words
, a student who has just cleared
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
high school wants to get into a great college, but he is not
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
able to find a good college in his homeland.
Thus
Linking Words
, travelling overseas is the best option for him. A survey showed that almost 53% of people in the age group of 18-24 move abroad and to other various cities for jobs and education. Those opposed to
this
Linking Words
say that
instead
Linking Words
of making their future graceful , they eventually end up ruining it .
Moreover
Linking Words
, the parents of these adults worry about their survival in a completely new town where the person is by themselves with nobody there for him .
However
Linking Words
, living in a new place will help them get more mature from period to period On balance , the fact that going to other regions assists to get the dream life and job that a young person wants in their 20s and 30s clearly outweighs the flawed argument that it leads to wrong track and failure.
Submitted by prayas69 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • migration
  • globalization
  • socio-economic factors
  • traditional norms
  • cosmopolitan environment
  • brain drain
  • assimilation
  • gentrification
  • alienation
  • multiculturalism
  • infrastructure strain
What to do next:
Look at other essays: