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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Schools have limited amount of money to spend.some people suggest that it should be sent on good teachers, while others say it should be spent for buying equipment like computers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The budget of
schools
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 limits
services
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the services
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 that they can provide for pupils.
While
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 some people are promoting the idea that
this
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 money should be spent to hire better instructors, others consider educational
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 far more important. I am convinced that there are certain
subjects
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for that
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 good teachers are essential;
however
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, other
subjects
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 can not be learned without proper equipment. The ones who advocate
good
Change preposition
for good
show examples
 educators have some valid points.
For
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example
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example,
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 in Iran, they took the example of well known
highschools
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schools
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 like Aboureyhan or
NODET
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NODET,
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where
Correct word choice
which
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 actually do not have developed equipment but are very successful in preparing
students
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 to get approved in the best universities in town.
Besides
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 that, even
schools
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 that are
equiped
Correct your spelling
equipped
 with proper devices should have good teachers to educate pupils the means of using them.
Consequently
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, many
subjects
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 like mathematics and science usually do not need special equipment to be learnt, the ones that the
students
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 of those
schools
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 are good at and often accepted in. Despite the above, doing experiments by using instruments has always been viewed as the best way of understanding
subjects
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 profoundly. The reason for
this
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 is the failure of
teoritical
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theoretical
 lessons to figure out each student's weaknesses before putting them into
the
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apply
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practice.
For instance
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,
students
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 can not learn
working
Wrong verb form
to work
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 with computer programs, like Word or
Powerpoint
Use the right word
PowerPoint
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, without
practicing
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practising
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 them on computers. To exemplify
furthur
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further
, for a pupil to perceive the effects of chemicals on
eachother
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each other
, they should examine these effects
at
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in
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 laboratories using instruments.
Therefore
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, people believe that providing necessary devices for
students
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 to examine their
knowlege
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knowledge
 is vital for
schools
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. In conclusion, one can say
good
Correct word choice
that good
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 teachers are very important in certain
subjects
Use synonyms
 like mathematics and medicine
and
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, and
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 it is impossible to learn them without experienced educators.
Nevertheless
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, if it comes to
subjects
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 like computers and chemistry,
then
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 instruments are far more critical.
Thus
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, I would say that it all depends on the subject being taught.

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organization
Plan your essay before you write. Put one main idea in each paragraph and keep your ideas tied to the prompt.
grammar
Use simple grammar and fix errors. Short, clear sentences are best.
lexical
Check spellings and word form. For example, 'equiped' should be 'equipped', 'teoritical' should be 'theoretical'.
content
Use specific examples that fit your point and explain how they show your idea.
overview
The essay shows you can talk about both sides and give a final view.
structure
There is a clear plan: intro, body, and a short conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget
  • money
  • spend
  • spend on
  • cost
  • price
  • value for money
  • priority
  • quality
  • teacher
  • teachers
  • class size
  • teaching
  • training
  • professional development
  • motivation
  • feedback
  • learning
  • student
  • pupil
  • learner
  • equipment
  • computers
  • devices
  • tech
  • digital
  • access
  • information
  • skills
  • practice
  • learning tools
  • distance learning
  • maintenance
  • repair
  • long-term
  • short-term
  • impact
  • benefit
  • advantage
  • drawback
  • balance
  • planning
  • investment
  • policy
  • implementation
  • monitoring
  • outcome
  • success
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