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Band 4.5

A person's worth nowadays seems to judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned value, such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person #status #possessions #value #honour #kindness #trust
Money and other material assets are often seen as indicators of success and worthiness. Some might go as far as saying that money and social position are the only things that matter in life. I personally have to disagree with
this
 statement and I will try to elaborate my point of view in
this
 essay. Undoubtedly, money and social status are two things that build our
first
 impression
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a
person
. It is something that we can easily check by looking at the social page of any
person
, as
such
 platforms are only good for showing material things. Some people
also
 tend to believe that the lack of
such
 possessions might be an indicator of an unsuccessful
person
,
thus
 they avoid any communication with these unworthy people.
Conversely
, when time passes and we get to know somebody in
person
, we start understanding the "true" values that
person
 believes in, the ones that are hard to show on social media or in a
work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
show examples
 environment. It is not about chivalry, but rather about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trustworthiness, empathy and honesty. They are as important as other more material and professional qualities, which is proved by HR managers as they have increasingly been paying more attention
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
soft
Correct article usage
the soft
show examples
 skills of the candidates.
In addition
,
such
 characteristics are essential if you want to have
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
long
Add an article
a long
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 lasting relationship with a
person
, whether business-like, friendly or romantic
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. To sum it up, social status and physical possessions are becoming increasingly more important in our “screening” of people; meanwhile most of the time it is only important for the
first
 impression, rather than for the long-term relationships, as you cannot put a price tag on human interaction which is based on our soft skills. In turn, it might prove that
such
 old-fashioned values are becoming even more important than they used to be.
Submitted by zugerry on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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