IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves their families and the society so working hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #hours #effect #families #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently people have been busy with their work because of longer work
hours
Use synonyms
. It is argued that working long
hours
Use synonyms
 has a serve impact on themselves their families and the community.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they suggest that working
hours
Use synonyms
 should be limited. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view. On the one hand, working for a long
time
Use synonyms
 brings several detrimental impacts on the body and the mind.
Firstly
Linking Words
, working but no break makes employees stressed and tired. Because they always suffer from finishing tasks before the deadline. In a long term,
this
Linking Words
 would lead to various mental health issues
such
Linking Words
 as anxiety, and depression.
Secondly
Linking Words
, working exhaustingly makes workers not have
time
Use synonyms
 to eat and sleep regularly. Working over 8
hours
Use synonyms
 a day makes employees
Change the verb form
do
did
show examples
not have
time
Use synonyms
 to prepare nutritious meals and they have to use pre-made food that isn’t good for their health.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 couldn’t take part in public health campaigns and
this
Linking Words
 would simply lead to weight problems.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working long
hours
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has serious consequences for families and the community.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, workers couldn’t spend
time
Use synonyms
 taking care of their family,
hence
Linking Words
 they no longer get on well with family members.
For example
Linking Words
, my elder sister often comes back home lately, so she doesn’t have
time
Use synonyms
 to talk together with her children.
Therefore
Linking Words
, her children gradually no longer share their stories and feelings with her.
In addition
Linking Words
, because people are too busy, they don’t devote more
time
Use synonyms
 to voluntary activities that are beneficial to society.
For instance
Linking Words
, my friend works at the weekends,
hence
Linking Words
 he couldn’t engage in the public campaigns which distribute food to the homeless. In conclusion, overworking has negative impacts on workers, their families and society.
As a result
Linking Words
, I believe that working
hours
Use synonyms
 should be restricted.
Submitted by nhathu1109 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: