IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security. But others believe that people cannot always enjoy their jobs and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security #jobs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Choosing a
job
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
 era is difficult
to
Add the comma(s)
,to
show examples
 say the least. While some
people
Use synonyms
 are promoting the idea that being satisfied
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a
job
Use synonyms
 is quite critical to
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a good life, others consider being
secured
Replace the word
secure
show examples
is far more important. I am convinced that
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction is vital and
people
Use synonyms
 can not survive in an occupation that they do not like. Those who advocate the importance of
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction indicate valuable points.
First
Linking Words
 of all, the proportion of time
that is
Linking Words
 being spent on working is considerable and the way of spending
this
Linking Words
 time can not be underestimated. They often take the example of well-known occupations like medicine that should dedicate not only day hours but
also
Linking Words
 nights to be at
Correct article usage
the workplaces
show examples
workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, if they do not enjoy it, in
fact
Add the comma(s)
,fact
show examples
 they are living a life that they do not want and eventually they might drop out due to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
pressure.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, disliking a career
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 in not doing the best for executing a
job
Use synonyms
, which results in failures. So even the
people
Use synonyms
 who have permanent
jobs
Use synonyms
 are in danger of losing them because they are susceptible to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 mistakes.
For example
Linking Words
, doctors who do not enjoy providing care might be accused
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 negligence and lose their
leicense
Correct your spelling
license
licence
. Despite the above, being hired in a permanent position has always been viewed as a passport to a secure life. The reason for permanent employees feeling more relieved about their future is the dramatic developments that have been happening in the world.
For instance
Linking Words
, robots are substituting positions of humans in many companies. To exemplify
further
Linking Words
, an uber driver might feel satisfied with their
jobs
Use synonyms
' flexibility and income, but
driveless
Correct your spelling
driverless
show examples
 vehicles are about to substitute them.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 believe for surviving in
this
Linking Words
 developing era, having a permanent
job
Use synonyms
 is vital. To sum up, one can say being satisfied
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
 are critical in choosing a
job
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, based on the unprecedented future having a secured position is important either. I would say that the former
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
plays
far
Add an article
a far
show examples
 more important role because without it even the permanent workers might lose their
jobs
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by panizfathi70128 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. **Job Satisfaction**: Fulfillment, pleasure, gratification, contentment, happiness at work, engaging work, meaningful work, passionate career.
  • 2. **Job Security**: Stability, permanence, steady income, financial security, long-term employment, dependable employment, stability in the workplace.
  • 3. **Work-Life Balance**: Equilibrium, harmonious work-life, time management, personal time, family time, balance between professional and personal life.
  • 4. **Mental Health**: Well-being, psychological health, stress reduction, emotional health, workplace happiness.
  • 5. **Professional Growth**: Career advancement, skill development, learning opportunities, professional development, personal growth.
  • 6. **Economic Conditions**: Job market, employment rates, economic stability, financial climate, recession, economic downturn.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: