In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Whis is this? is this a positive or negative development?

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It is highly likely that there will be an increasing number of aged
people
Use synonyms
in
comparsion
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comparison
to
younger
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the younger
a younger
show examples
generation in numerous
nations
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.
This
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essay discusses the reason behind
this
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and why I believe
this
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is a negative trend. A primary cause of
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
show examples
number of
elderly
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the elderly
show examples
population is due to advancements in medical science. To elaborate, in the past due to less
mordern
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modern
treatment available
people
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used to die early .
However
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, due to advancements
such
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as cutting edge diagnostic tools,
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discovery of
discoveryof
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the discoveryof
show examples
new medicines, and better health infrastructure it has brought down a significant reduction in the rate of mortality.
As a result
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, it has increased the life
expectacy
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expectancy
of the inhabitants.
For instance
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, centuary back the leading cause of death was
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smallpox
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small pox
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smallpox
show examples
, but due to
discovery
Correct article usage
the discovery
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of
vaccines
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,vaccines
show examples
such
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kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of diseases are non- existant in our modern society.
Therefore
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, it fosters better healthcare which leads to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
in the aged population in countries. On the
whole
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,whole
show examples
I believe that
this
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is a negative outcome because it will slow down the pace of the economy.
This
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is largely due to
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
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of young workforce in the nation, who play a pivotal role in the development of
nation
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the nation
a nation
show examples
. If
nations
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will be having more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
elderly
people
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as employees,
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
productivity will fall considerably due to the fact that old
people
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are not energetic and nonflexible to learn new things
in contrast
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to the young
people
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who are full of determination and are
highy
Correct your spelling
highly
resilient. To
illustarate
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illustrate
, a recent study concluded that due to the majority of aged
people
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in Japan, it is projected that
Correct article usage
the Japenese
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Japenese
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Japanese
show examples
economy will decline by one-tenth in a decade.
Therefore
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,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
nation with more elderly
people
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will lead to
drainage
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the drainage
show examples
of the economy. In
conclsuion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, due to better health care
facilities
Add a comma
,facilities
show examples
the majority of
nations
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will be having more senile
people
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to
Change preposition
than
show examples
that young. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
this
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is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unfavourable development as it will hamper the development of
nations
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in terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economical progress.
Submitted by drvishal13 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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