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In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Whis is this? is this a positive or negative development?

#future #proportion #people #countries #whis #development
It is highly likely that there will be an increasing number of aged
people
 in
comparsion
Correct your spelling
comparison
 to
younger
Add an article
the younger
a younger
show examples
 generation in numerous
nations
.
This
 essay discusses the reason behind
this
 and why I believe
this
 is a negative trend. A primary cause of
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
show examples
 number of
elderly
Add an article
the elderly
show examples
 population is due to advancements in medical science. To elaborate, in the past due to less
mordern
Correct your spelling
modern
 treatment available
people
 used to die early .
However
, due to advancements
such
 as cutting edge diagnostic tools,
Correct your spelling
discovery of
discoveryof
Correct article usage
the discoveryof
show examples
 new medicines, and better health infrastructure it has brought down a significant reduction in the rate of mortality.
As a result
, it has increased the life
expectacy
Correct your spelling
expectancy
 of the inhabitants.
For instance
, centuary back the leading cause of death was
Correct your spelling
smallpox
show examples
small pox
Correct your spelling
smallpox
show examples
, but due to
discovery
Correct article usage
the discovery
show examples
 of
vaccines
Add a comma
,vaccines
show examples
such
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of diseases are non- existant in our modern society.
Therefore
, it fosters better healthcare which leads to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in the aged population in countries. On the
whole
Add a comma
,whole
show examples
 I believe that
this
 is a negative outcome because it will slow down the pace of the economy.
This
 is largely due to
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 of young workforce in the nation, who play a pivotal role in the development of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
. If
nations
 will be having more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
elderly
people
 as employees,
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 productivity will fall considerably due to the fact that old
people
 are not energetic and nonflexible to learn new things
in contrast
 to the young
people
 who are full of determination and are
highy
Correct your spelling
highly
 resilient. To
illustarate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
, a recent study concluded that due to the majority of aged
people
 in Japan, it is projected that
Correct article usage
the Japenese
show examples
Japenese
Correct your spelling
Japanese
show examples
 economy will decline by one-tenth in a decade.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 nation with more elderly
people
 will lead to
drainage
Correct article usage
the drainage
show examples
 of the economy. In
conclsuion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, due to better health care
facilities
Add a comma
,facilities
show examples
 the majority of
nations
 will be having more senile
people
to
Change preposition
than
show examples
 that young. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
this
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 unfavourable development as it will hamper the development of
nations
 in terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economical progress.
Submitted by drvishal13 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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