In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Whis is this? is this a positive or negative development?

It is highly likely that there will be an increasing number of aged

people

Use synonyms

comparsion

Correct your spelling

comparison

younger

Add an article

the younger

a younger

show examples

generation in numerous

nations

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay discusses the reason behind

this

Linking Words

and why I believe

this

Linking Words

is a negative trend. A primary cause of

rising

Correct article usage

the rising

show examples

number of

elderly

Add an article

the elderly

show examples

population is due to advancements in medical science. To elaborate, in the past due to less

mordern

Correct your spelling

modern

treatment available

people

Use synonyms

used to die early .

However

Linking Words

, due to advancements

such

Linking Words

as cutting edge diagnostic tools,

Correct your spelling

discovery of

discoveryof

Correct article usage

the discoveryof

show examples

new medicines, and better health infrastructure it has brought down a significant reduction in the rate of mortality.

As a result

Linking Words

, it has increased the life

expectacy

Correct your spelling

expectancy

of the inhabitants.

For instance

Linking Words

, centuary back the leading cause of death was

Correct your spelling

smallpox

show examples

small pox

Correct your spelling

smallpox

show examples

, but due to

discovery

Correct article usage

the discovery

show examples

vaccines

Add a comma

,vaccines

show examples

such

Linking Words

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of diseases are non- existant in our modern society.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it fosters better healthcare which leads to

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

in the aged population in countries. On the

whole

Add a comma

,whole

show examples

I believe that

this

Linking Words

is a negative outcome because it will slow down the pace of the economy.

This

Linking Words

is largely due to

shortage

Correct article usage

a shortage

show examples

of young workforce in the nation, who play a pivotal role in the development of

nation

Add an article

the nation

a nation

show examples

. If

nations

Use synonyms

will be having more

number of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

elderly

people

Use synonyms

as employees,

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

productivity will fall considerably due to the fact that old

people

Use synonyms

are not energetic and nonflexible to learn new things

in contrast

Linking Words

to the young

people

Use synonyms

who are full of determination and are

highy

Correct your spelling

highly

resilient. To

illustarate

Correct your spelling

illustrate

, a recent study concluded that due to the majority of aged

people

Use synonyms

in Japan, it is projected that

Correct article usage

the Japenese

show examples

Japenese

Correct your spelling

Japanese

show examples

economy will decline by one-tenth in a decade.

Therefore

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

show examples

nation with more elderly

people

Use synonyms

will lead to

drainage

Correct article usage

the drainage

show examples

of the economy. In

conclsuion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, due to better health care

facilities

Add a comma

,facilities

show examples

the majority of

nations

Use synonyms

will be having more senile

people

Use synonyms

Change preposition

than

show examples

that young. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

this

Linking Words

Change the article

show examples

unfavourable development as it will hamper the development of

nations

Use synonyms

in terms of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

economical progress.

drvishal13

Apr 18, 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
You recently bought a toy from a company online. When the toy was delivered, you found some problems with it. Write a letter to the company manager. In your letter: -Describe the toy -Explain the problems with it -Tell the manager what you would like her/him to do
I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to inform you regarding a recent purchase of a toy car that I bought from your website. I want to bring one technical difficulty that my son found with the car to your attention the left tyre of the auto which is not moving anymore. However, I tried changing the battery but it did not work at all.
7.5
band
Over-reliance on modern technology means that people are failing to learn, or are forgetting many basic skills. To what extent is this true? Are people becoming so reliant on modern technology that they are no longer able to do some things without it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays with the abundance of different inventions, we can notice a very clear fad, that a lot of young people rely too much on their smartphones, computers and tablets; to the extent, that they often over-depend on contemporary devices. Consequently, this observation raises a very important question: "Are we, as humans, becoming so addicted to technologies that we start forgetting some basic skills?" In this essay, we will try to answer this question.
7
band
You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it didn't work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the manager in your letter. Describe the problem with the equipment. Explain what happened when you called the shop. say what you would like the manger to do
I would like to talk about a purchase I recently made from your shop that was a gas stove last month in March, am having problems with the heating as my gas is induction with Four plates and included oven whenever I turn it on after a few minutes heating didn't work properly plates. Sometimes oven even reaches the set temperature it will come certainly down from 180 C.
7.5
band
Some people say that the characteristic we are born will have many much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in life. To what extent do you agree with this?
An argument has arisen between two views, the first view believes that nothing can change people's traits, while the opposite viewpoint objects to that. In this report, I will go through both sides of this conflict, and then allow me to conclude my position.
7
band
Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The quest for a secure and fulfilling career throws two divergent paths – the university education and job experience. While some advocate for the undeniable weight of a university degree in securing desirable positions, others endorse the crucial role of experience and sharpened soft skills. My opinion is that job experience and soft skills are far more helpful in securing a fulfilling career.

In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Whis is this? is this a positive or negative development?

You recently bought a toy from a company online. When the toy was delivered, you found some problems with it. Write a letter to the company manager. In your letter: -Describe the toy -Explain the problems with it -Tell the manager what you would like her/him to do

You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it didn't work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the manager in your letter. Describe the problem with the equipment. Explain what happened when you called the shop. say what you would like the manger to do

Some people say that the characteristic we are born will have many much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in life. To what extent do you agree with this?

Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.