IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The Internet allow us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourage people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?

#internet #matter #hand #people #socialise #statements
Nowadays,
people
 rely on the net to communicate with each other. It seems like the
Internet
 separates individuals from
reality
. I generally agree that online services can benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 not being isolated. One reason is that online users can discover someone with similar interests.
For example
, there are many websites about various video games on the net. In the
reality
, gamers may not have friends who can company them to enjoy
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 same game.
However
, with the
Internet
, they are able to share their experiences on the game
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
 who are
also
 interested
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
This
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
enhences
Correct your spelling
enhances
 the intimacy between strangers
instead
 of isolating themselves from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality
.
Besides
, many activities which
features
Correct subject-verb agreement
feature
show examples
 games are blossoming in the
world
. These increase the opportunity to interact with the fellows. Another reason is that the net can be used to spread
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
 to the global
world
.
For instance
, the recent news about the invasion of Ukraine has been
watching
Wrong verb form
watched
show examples
 and the whole
world
 is concerning the effects. If
people
 live in a
world
 without any social media platform, they could not receive the information immediately.
On the other hand
,
people
 from other countries can donate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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funds or resources to the suffering area.
In other words
, the
Internet
 not only
connect
Change the verb form
connects
show examples
people
 around the
world
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 help them to survive sometimes. It could be argued that the net disconnects
people
 because they do not have to interact with real ones.
For example
, online shopping and e-classes decrease the chance to allow
people
walking
Change the verb form
to walk
show examples
 in the
reality
.
Nevertheless
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online services can
also
 assist the
disable
Replace the word
disabled
show examples
 in maintaining their basic lives. The
disable
Replace the word
disabled
show examples
 uses the
Internet
 to purchase food or applications;
furthermore
, they are able to study through e- classes without leaving their home. Overall, the net can bring
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 promising future rather than
disencouraging
Correct your spelling
discouraging
people
 to socialize. In conclusion,
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 net is only a tool
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is different depending on the users. It can truly benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 growth and
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
 after all.
Submitted by jrtay22 on

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