The graphs below show the number of medals won by the top five countries in the summer and winter Olympics.

#graphs #show #medals #five #countries #summer #winter #olympics

The first bar chart shows which countries have won the most

medals

in the winter

Olympics

. It

also

states how many gold, silver and bronze

medals

each country has achieved.

In contrast

, the

second

graph shows which nations have won the most

medals

in the summer

Olympics

Overall

, the first graph shows that in the winter

Olympics

, Norway

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

gained the most

medals

, winning approximately an equal number of gold, silver and bronze

medals

. It has won about 370

medals

whereas

Canada, in fifth place, has won approximately 200

medals

. The results of the summer

Olympics

are quite different,

however

, with the USA having won the most

medals

Overall

, the USA has won just over 2,500

medals

, a much higher number than the other four countries on the graph. Russia is the

second

highest, winning approximately 1,800

medals

. To summarise, the bar charts illustrate how many

medals

the highest-ranking countries have won in the summer and winter

Olympics

. The results of each

Olympics

are very different, with the USA, Russia and Germany being successful in both.

Submitted by Januine21 on Mon Apr 18 2022

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, second".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words medals, olympics with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

176 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graphs below show the number of medals won by the top five countries in the summer and winter Olympics.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom.

People eat more processed food now than in the past. What are the reasons for this? What might be the results?

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city.Discuss both views and give your opinion.