The graphs below show the number of medals won by the top five countries in the summer and winter Olympics.

#graphs #show #medals #five #countries #summer #winter #olympics

The first bar chart shows which countries have won the most

medals

in the winter

Olympics

. It

also

states how many gold, silver and bronze

medals

each country has achieved.

In contrast

, the

second

graph shows which nations have won the most

medals

in the summer

Olympics

Overall

, the first graph shows that in the winter

Olympics

, Norway

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

gained the most

medals

, winning approximately an equal number of gold, silver and bronze

medals

. It has won about 370

medals

whereas

Canada, in fifth place, has won approximately 200

medals

. The results of the summer

Olympics

are quite different,

however

, with the USA having won the most

medals

Overall

, the USA has won just over 2,500

medals

, a much higher number than the other four countries on the graph. Russia is the

second

highest, winning approximately 1,800

medals

. To summarise, the bar charts illustrate how many

medals

the highest-ranking countries have won in the summer and winter

Olympics

. The results of each

Olympics

are very different, with the USA, Russia and Germany being successful in both.

Submitted by Januine21 on Mon Apr 18 2022

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, second".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words medals, olympics with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

176 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graphs below show the number of medals won by the top five countries in the summer and winter Olympics.

The most important aim of science is to should be to improve people's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some countries have introduced a law to limit working hours for employees. Why is this law introduced? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?