The graphs below show the number of medals won by the top five countries in the summer and winter Olympics.

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The first bar chart shows which countries have won the most

medals

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in the winter

Olympics

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. It

also

Linking Words

states how many gold, silver and bronze

medals

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each country has achieved.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the

second

Linking Words

graph shows which nations have won the most

medals

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in the summer

Olympics

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Overall

Linking Words

, the first graph shows that in the winter

Olympics

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, Norway

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

gained the most

medals

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, winning approximately an equal number of gold, silver and bronze

medals

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. It has won about 370

medals

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whereas

Linking Words

Canada, in fifth place, has won approximately 200

medals

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. The results of the summer

Olympics

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are quite different,

however

Linking Words

, with the USA having won the most

medals

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Overall

Linking Words

, the USA has won just over 2,500

medals

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, a much higher number than the other four countries on the graph. Russia is the

second

Linking Words

highest, winning approximately 1,800

medals

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. To summarise, the bar charts illustrate how many

medals

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the highest-ranking countries have won in the summer and winter

Olympics

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. The results of each

Olympics

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are very different, with the USA, Russia and Germany being successful in both.

Januine21Mon Apr 18 2022

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, second".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words medals, olympics with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

176 words

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The graphs below show the number of medals won by the top five countries in the summer and winter Olympics.

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In some countries today, many people decide to have their first child when they are older. Why? Is it a positive or negative phenomenon?

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activitiy of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. agree or disagree