The values that we learn from our parents and family have greater influence on our future success than knowledge and skills we learn at school. Agree or disagee?

#values #parents #influence #future #success #skills #school #disagee

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It is generally acknowledged by certain individuals that the

acquisitition

Correct your spelling

acquisition

knowledg

Correct your spelling

knowledge

from family is more valuable than that from

schools

Use synonyms

for

the

Correct article usage

show examples

successful future in contemporary society.

However

Linking Words

, regarding

this

Linking Words

, I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

assertion as I believe that a successful life means having

Change the article

show examples

extraordinary occupation.

To begin

Linking Words

with, learning various academic subjects can bring about

enrollment

Add an article

the enrollment

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

prestigious

university

Fix the agreement mistake

universities

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among students in

this

Linking Words

competitive society. Going to a reputational university can be a stepping stone to

move

Wrong verb form

moving

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forward to success. Adolescents are not able to go to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

higher-educational institution that has a good reputation with skills that are learned from parents.

For example

Linking Words

, Recent media in Korea reports that parents can not replace by

schools

Use synonyms

as they are not professionals in various majors. As the example clearly illustrates,

knowledge

Add an article

the knowledge

a knowledge

show examples

that is

Linking Words

provided by parents is less important than that by

schools

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, learning practical skills can be a key factor in obtaining well-paid jobs. As the population has increased, job opportunities have declined, and

therefore

Linking Words

candidates need

further

Linking Words

qualifications. Having experience or having acquired soft skills that can be valuable to a company can put one ahead of

Correct article usage

the games

show examples

games

Fix the agreement mistake

game

show examples

when applying for a position.

For instance

Linking Words

, a survey conducted by the Korea Educational Foundation has revealed that almost 20%

respondents

Change preposition

of respondents

show examples

answered that learning

softskills

Correct your spelling

soft skills

when students participate in group activities

such

Linking Words

as presentations at school can be an

efficients

Correct your spelling

efficient

means of gaining

a highly-paid occupations

Correct the article-noun agreement

highly-paid occupations

a highly-paid occupation

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is reasonable to point out that knowledge

that is

Linking Words

acquired from

Use synonyms

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

is more crucial than that from family. In conclusion, the shortage of jobs is

Change the article

show examples

undeniable issue in the modern era.

Therefore

Linking Words

, there is no doubt to point out that not only can

studying

Change the form of the verb

study

show examples

at a school bring about going to a meritorious academy, it may

also

Linking Words

contribute to getting a better job, thereby leading to a successful life.

Submitted by hiasince38 on Tue Apr 19 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

313 words

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The values that we learn from our parents and family have greater influence on our future success than knowledge and skills we learn at school. Agree or disagee?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code.

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the environment as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. what problems does this shortage cause? what measures could be taken to overcome these problems?