IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It is true that the freedom of artists to present their thought is essential for the creative process. But given the influence they may have, I disagree that their
works
Use synonyms
 should go public without government restrictions. On the one hand, the rights of artists to show their own idea should be respected. With too many restrictions, they can hardly make an impressive article or movie. Since the creative idea may not be allowed to go public and
therefore
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 adversely influence their income, they tend to write traditional
works
Use synonyms
, and
this
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 hurts the varicosity of culture. The music and TV series are likely to be boring,
thus
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 it damages the development of the entertainment industry. Worse , it is possible for related employees to be unemployed.
On the other hand
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, total freedom in creative
works
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 seems unreasonable, because the
works
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 will go public, and they can affect people's minds to some extent, especially children and teenagers.
Thus
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, the movie and others which are popular with young people should be restricted. Because they are more likely to be affected by their surroundings, it is possible for the inappropriate article to assert negative effects on the youngers.
For example
Linking Words
, students may act up in class, and violence among teenagers may rise.
Therefore
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, to avoid bad behaviours and anti-social personalities, these products should be very careful. In conclusion, it is important for artists to have the freedom of creating
works
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 to encourage diversity of culture, but without
government
Add a comma
,government
show examples
 restrictions are not appropriate, particularly for the movies usually watched by children.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Freedom of expression
  • Censorship
  • Artistic integrity
  • Cultural identity
  • Social responsibility
  • Public order
  • Discrimination
  • Hate speech
  • Self-regulation
  • Government intervention
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Creativity
  • Democracy
  • Fundamental right
  • Moral obligation
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