IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and gives your opinion

#people #culture #tourism #areas #change
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Culture
Use synonyms
 enhances
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of life and increases
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 well-being of the individuals and communities.
Human
Add an article
A human
show examples
 being without
culture
Use synonyms
 is no less than an animal. It is argued that
tourism
Use synonyms
 should be forbidden to safeguard localised
culture
Use synonyms
 in a few
places
Use synonyms
.I strongly disagree with the given statement as
change
Use synonyms
 is constant and prohibiting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
 is not the solution for it. We will discuss
in
Correct pronoun usage
this in
show examples
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 in the following paragraphs. On
one
Use synonyms
 hand, without
Use synonyms
tourism
Add a comma
,tourism
show examples
 the place will be untouched and remain peaceful and beautiful. A research paper found that the
places
Use synonyms
 which are less witnessed by human beings are 75% more clean and beautiful as it is not commercialised. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
,
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 common hill
station
Fix the agreement mistake
stations
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 in India like Shimla, Ooty, Manali and so on are
more dirty
Replace the words
dirtier
show examples
 in comparison to
places
Use synonyms
 like Chail and Landsdowne.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
culture
Correct article usage
the culture
show examples
 in those
places
Use synonyms
 is far deeper to understand. With the introduction of
Tourism
Use synonyms
, innocent
lives
Use synonyms
 will be in danger and hunting is
also
Linking Words
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 common offence committed by individuals which disturbs the
lives
Use synonyms
 of the natives.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Change
Use synonyms
 is the real constant and no
one
Use synonyms
 can put a stop
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
one
Use synonyms
way
Use synonyms
 or the other
Use synonyms
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
 things will definitely
change
Use synonyms
.
Tourism
Use synonyms
 is just not a
way
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 of making
Correct pronoun usage
one understand
show examples
understand
Wrong verb form
understanding
show examples
one
Use synonyms
's
culture
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 a
way
Use synonyms
 of growing with the advancement of technology in various fields.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the interior
places
Use synonyms
 of Andaman and Nicobar Islands,
people
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
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 no access to medicines to save their
lives
Use synonyms
 and no good means of transport and communication to make their
lives
Use synonyms
 easy and comfortable.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will not be able to grow in the field of Education, Science and Technology and so on. Human has a tendency to grow by sharpening their minds and
Use synonyms
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 surroundings with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inventions and discoveries. Through
tourism
Use synonyms
,
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of problems of the
people
Use synonyms
 can be solved with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment and getting the world
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
closely.
Although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 will always be in search of new
places
Use synonyms
 and cultures as they have a curiosity to know more and more, it is the responsibility of the individuals to preserve our
culture
Use synonyms
 from getting destroyed.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • influx of tourists
  • dilute local customs
  • commercialization
  • loss of native languages
  • economic benefits
  • revenue source
  • responsible tourism
  • cultural sensitivity
  • regulated tourist limits
  • cultural heritage
  • globalization
  • case study
  • ‘High Value, Low Impact’ tourism
  • controlled tourism
  • middle-ground solution
  • infrastructure development
  • significant revenue source
  • employment generation
What to do next:
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