Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

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Nature's design and thousands of years of evolution have made
women
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better at
childcare
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than men. Even though
this
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might be a scientific fact, in today's world the
Use synonyms
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
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of
women
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is equally important
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
their personal
life
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.
Therefore
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, I completely
diagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
agree
that
women
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should spend more time
on
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apply
show examples
raising
children
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and sacrifice their
work
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life
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. Many solutions can help
women
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balance their
work
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and personal
life
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.
Few
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A few
show examples
examples are
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Flexible working hours and
Joint
Correct article usage
a Joint
show examples
family system.
Firstly
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, all corporates are working towards favourable working conditions for
women
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.
This
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includes having policies
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
will help
women
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not
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
their job in order to concentrate on taking care of their
children
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.
For example
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, giving freedom, by having flexible working hours and / or having a
day care
Correct your spelling
daycare
show examples
centre at the office.
This
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will ease the pressure on a
woman
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to have a
Change the verb form
balanced
show examples
balance
Correct your spelling
balanced
show examples
life
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.
Secondly
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,
childcare
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Correct your spelling
is
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it
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is
show examples
not only a
woman
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's responsibility but a man's too. A husband should
also
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equally participate in
childcare
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which will reduce some burden
from
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on
show examples
a
woman
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. But,
this
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has limited
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
as the husband needs to go out
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
work
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too. In
this
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scenario, it becomes important to once
agaian
Correct your spelling
again
embrace the joint family system. Having the entire family living together will not only help
women
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in sharing the
work
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to raise a child and household chores but
also
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help nurture
children
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because they will learn a lot from their grandparents and others. To conclude, in today's time
childcare
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is a job for both men and
women
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. I strongly
diagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
that only
women
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have to compromise.
With certain
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Certain
show examples
assistance from corporates on policies and environment will reduce
women
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's stress levels.
Moreover
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, taking care of
children
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by family members
such
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as
husband
Fix the agreement mistake
husbands
show examples
and grandparents will have huge benefits on a child's development and give more free time to a
woman
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to focus on her
work
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.
Submitted by deepika Tomar on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • nurturing
  • empathy
  • sensitivity
  • maternal instinct
  • paternal involvement
  • child's development
  • work-life balance
  • gender equality
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