IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #travel #countries #pleasure #believe #impact
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These days, a large
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
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travel
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 abroad for their own pleasure,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 hold
view
Add an article
the view
show examples
 that journey to foreign
countries
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 has negative effects on
countries
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 in which
people
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travel
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.
Nevertheless
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, I disagree, because in my personal view tourism has more positive sides than drawbacks. It is fact that the
number
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 of travelling
people
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 has risen,
moreover
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 with the flow of
tourists
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 there will be
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 benefits for some
countries
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.
This
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 is because
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 numerous
number
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 of
tourists
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 who
travel
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 for pleasure will spend
amount
Add an article
the amount
an amount
show examples
 of money to have
engaging
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an engaging
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 experience.
For instance
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,
countries
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such
Linking Words
Turkey
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as Turkey
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, United Arab Emirates have improved their economy thanks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a wide range of
tourists
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 who
visit
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 these
countries
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 every year in order to see or
visit
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eye-catching
Correct article usage
the eye-catching
show examples
 attractions of each country. One other thing is rising
number
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 of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 can lead to cultural exchange between certain nations.
Travelers
Change the spelling
Travellers
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 become interested in
cultural
Correct article usage
the cultural
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 features of
country
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the country
show examples
 that they
visit
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, and
encouraged
Add a missing verb
are encouraged
show examples
 to learn more about local culture, language and traditions. Thereby,
tourists
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 can expand their range of knowledge and
also
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 attract local residents to their culture too.
Thus
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, cultural exchange will take place between
tourists
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 and
people
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 in
country
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a country
the country
show examples
 where they
travel
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 to. To conclude,
travel
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 of
people
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 to foreign
countries
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 has all-pervasive positive sides to
countries
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 that they
visit
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. Taking into account all mentioned, I would say that there will be a lot of
countries
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 with good
economy
Fix the agreement mistake
economies
show examples
 and extended
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
 of knowledge of inhabitants in the future.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exchanges
  • Global connections
  • Tourism boosts
  • Local economy
  • Over-tourism
  • Environmental degradation
  • Landmarks
  • Commodification of culture
  • Authentic cultural expressions
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Tourism infrastructure
  • Public services
  • Disrespect local customs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: