Some people say that playing games can be bad for children. Others say that playing computer games can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Whereas
some individuals believe that video games are devastating for children's improvement,the opponents are of the notion that it is beneficial for them.Although
in my point of view,its positive footprints surpass in multitudes aspects,different sides are uttered here.
One of the most highlighted advantages has to do with its impression on users' knowledge.To enlighten,not only enhances Correct pronoun usage
apply
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Change noun form
juveniles'
juvenile's
juveniles
capability in utilising technology as the current affair but their lingual information would be fortified Change noun form
juveniles'
while
they have to interact with others with divergent tongues from different nations.Consequently
,both the awareness of technology usage and similarly
knowing various languages would be beneficial for their subsequent personal and social lives, grasping a job vacancy for example
.Furthermore
,the youngster
will be saved from the hazards that are awaiting them in society.As a vivid case,neither kidnappers nor drug sellers have the capacity to abuse them if they are entertained with their computers at home.
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
On the other hand
,various diseases may they encounter
owing to the sedentary lifestyle that these smart boxes bestow Wrong verb form
encountered
to
folks.To illustrate,Either:the risk of obesity or eyesight problems has swelled among people,who Change preposition
on
spent
the majority of their time in front of screens.To explain,Wrong verb form
spend
due to
research,humans' eyes are sensitive to the light of screens.Moreover
,ignoring the activities that used to be more conventional,like cycling,can have some detrimental effects on the mental and the physical realms.as
a fact,the balance of body hormones stems from people's function during their lives,which would not be set properly if individuals deprive themselves of physical activities.Capitalize word
As
Therefore
,an inappropriate development may occur in their brain and muscles.
To conclude
,while
some undeniable drawbacks would be experienced by the young,who are attracted by computer games,namely:visual problems or obesity,to me its affirmative sides,such
as enhancing adolescents' knowledge about other languages and as well technology utilization, outweigh drastically.Nevertheless
,its related side effects could be eradicated by restricting the hour of playing game by children.Submitted by drpnima on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Develop your arguments more by providing additional examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical flow between paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion. Use transition words to connect ideas more effectively.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!