In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

People

shop for things for varied reasons.

While

in earlier years it was more of buying things for homely daily necessities, folks now have started going shopping as a fun activity.

Although

I agree it is mostly positive for the

overall

nation as it results in more development, there are instances of it proving to be harmful to certain

individuals

. Talking about

positives

Correct article usage

the positives

show examples

, shopping for fun is beneficial for the nation as it brings more development. When

individuals

are buying items for their excitement, they tend to purchase more products compared to making a purchase to satisfy only their basic needs.

This

in turn leads to a greater collection of indirect taxes for the administration, which helps them fund their development projects and policies for the betterment of

people

For example

, shopping online is easier has led to

individuals

buying things as a time pass activity, which has greatly swelled government coffers that they can use for public welfare.

Hence

this

trend is advantageous for the

overall

economy and its

people

On the contrary

this

shopping behaviour can be negative for

individuals

with bad spending habits. Most of the time pass shopping is made with the intent of showing off even though they might not be able to afford it with their current income. Many

people

then

fund their shopping spree using debt and loans, which can be very risky in case they are not judicious with their spending.

For instance

, the number of youngsters facing debt traps is constantly rising as newer generations mostly purchase everything on credit and face hefty fines when they are not able to repay their dues.

Thus

, the trend of shopping for

timepass

Correct your spelling

time passes

show examples

can be disastrous for many who are not careful with their money management.

To sum up

while

impulse buying is good for the country as it gives them more funds to work for

people

, it can do great harm to folks who are not thinking about how to fund their purchases. One should have the acumen of how to manage their income.

Submitted by harmanp85 on Wed Apr 20 2022

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Task Response

Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the positive and negative aspects of shopping as a hobby. However, the response lacks depth in analyzing the extent to which this trend is positive. For a higher score, provide more nuanced arguments and consider all aspects of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the development of ideas within paragraphs could be improved for better coherence. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively and ensure a logical flow of information throughout the essay.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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