In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

People
shop for things for varied reasons.
While
in earlier years it was more of buying things for homely daily necessities, folks now have started going shopping as a fun activity.
Although
I agree it is mostly positive for the
overall
nation as it results in more development, there are instances of it proving to be harmful to certain
individuals
. Talking about
positives
Correct article usage
the positives
show examples
, shopping for fun is beneficial for the nation as it brings more development. When
individuals
are buying items for their excitement, they tend to purchase more products compared to making a purchase to satisfy only their basic needs.
This
in turn leads to a greater collection of indirect taxes for the administration, which helps them fund their development projects and policies for the betterment of
people
.
For example
, shopping online is easier has led to
individuals
buying things as a time pass activity, which has greatly swelled government coffers that they can use for public welfare.
Hence
,
this
trend is advantageous for the
overall
economy and its
people
.
On the contrary
,
this
shopping behaviour can be negative for
individuals
with bad spending habits. Most of the time pass shopping is made with the intent of showing off even though they might not be able to afford it with their current income. Many
people
then
fund their shopping spree using debt and loans, which can be very risky in case they are not judicious with their spending.
For instance
, the number of youngsters facing debt traps is constantly rising as newer generations mostly purchase everything on credit and face hefty fines when they are not able to repay their dues.
Thus
, the trend of shopping for
timepass
Correct your spelling
time passes
show examples
can be disastrous for many who are not careful with their money management.
To sum up
,
while
impulse buying is good for the country as it gives them more funds to work for
people
, it can do great harm to folks who are not thinking about how to fund their purchases. One should have the acumen of how to manage their income.
Submitted by harmanp85 on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the positive and negative aspects of shopping as a hobby. However, the response lacks depth in analyzing the extent to which this trend is positive. For a higher score, provide more nuanced arguments and consider all aspects of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the development of ideas within paragraphs could be improved for better coherence. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively and ensure a logical flow of information throughout the essay.
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