Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

Certainly, one of the most important problems that now governments around the world are confronting is how to deal with
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
crisis
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
youths.
This
problem could be solved
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
three ways which
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
to be: strengthening the education system, supporting families, and offering more employment opportunities.
Firstly
, educational shortcomings could be responsible for training deficiencies in communities, importantly, young people from poor socioeconomic status. Since there are no academies or colleges that focus on teaching teenagers how to manage their
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
show examples
aspects well.
Next
, family relationships in comparison with the past have been changed and as
parents
are busier than before, their attention
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own children and the needs they have has decreased.
Besides
, many
parents
are single now,
then
their child has no access to emotional and practical ethics which both
parents
can provide
him
Change preposition
for him
show examples
/her in their life. The
last
part refers to
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of
job
opportunities that young pupils or graduated students would be able to find
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
when they have no experience. It should be valued, our educational systems
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
encouraged to teach their pupils good manners. And provided that, young students had attractions for doing crime, they would judiciously confront them and teach the advantages of good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, unless, these teenagers would adopt some bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. If the young couples be encouraged to marry and make a strong family foundation, their children would learn how to live without stress and anxiousness.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
it should be focused on the educational training of
parents
because their kids learn many aspects of moral and social ethics from them.
Finally
, governments are responsible for
job
making as provided that youths did not have
appropriate
Add an article
an appropriate
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, they would crash
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
uncommon and mostly illegal acts to earn money. In conclusion, criminal actions have different reasons which mainly could be resolved. If governments subsidized
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
academic industries efficiently,
then
young people would
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
to learn more and do better
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their careers so find a good
job
easily. According to a better position, have a better income and there will be no need
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
inelegant actions. Being a normal relationship between
parents
, let their children live in a more
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
family so learn to do a better action
overally
Correct your spelling
overall
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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