IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

online shopping positive or negative development?

#development
The bar chart shows the number changed in academic
jobs
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different disciplines related to humanities and social science during the three-year period from 2012 to 2014. Overall, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
English
 occupations
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 in the
first
 place. And other academic professions only marginally changed in a tiny range compared to
English
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
. In 2012,
English
jobs
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 by far the most popular among these disciplines, with about 1200 occupations in the whole year. Any other subject only had half of
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of vocations in
English
. After two years, the total
jobs
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 humanities disciplines
included
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 history and philosophy have a moderate
decreasing
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
. And the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
English
 occupations experienced a sharply decreased from 1200 to 850.
However
, the other number of professional
jobs
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 upward trend, slowly increased around 50
jobs
.
Submitted by 59213142 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: