IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugars #health #people #sugar
It is predicted that there will not be a driver in the cars and buses a bunch of years later and there will be enough technology for producing driverless vehicles. it is a fact that there are both pros and cons, but I assume that standing
the
Change preposition
for the
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 disadvantages deserves the existence of the advantages.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
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 the negative effects these days driving is regarded as a
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
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 of entertaining yourself and having fun but when the car is driving by itself, it is obvious that
this
 kind of feeling will disappear and obviously
people
 will be anxious at
first
. Newest technologies are always hard to afford. There is a belief that why should we put more money
for
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on
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 buying a driverless car when we have the ability to drive a car by ourselves which is a logical explanation, but it depends on the person's personality and what they value the most in their life.
Considerable
Add an article
A considerable
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 amount of
people
think
Change the verb form
thinks
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 that being calm while driving deserves
this
 increase in the payment.
Although
 the ways that
people
 use for enjoying
while
Correct word choice
apply
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driving will disappear,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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you can't make the assumption that transferring from one place to another by driverless machines is not fun. I assume that
people
 will find new ways to entertain themselves and
also
 bi believe that they will have more fun because they are calmer and the calmer moments, the better experiences. Nowadays we can see that
people
 especially parents are always in a hurry for different stuff, but when these cars take place in the future, there will not be lots of anxiousness in
people
 because their children can transfer
by
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on
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 their own and there will not be any problem. In conclusion,
although
 there are lots of different ideas about
this
 particular prediction of
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
, in my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages and I assume that we can think about negative effects as a change in
people
's lifestyle and part of the process in human life.
Submitted by niayeshmonsef on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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