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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

There is a good deal of evidence that increasing car use is contributing to global warming and having other undesirable effects on people’s health and well-being. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It has been observed that in recent days the usage of cars has been significantly raising across the world by individuals, which causes
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
 cold to rise and has detrimental effects on the individuals'
health
Use synonyms
. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion. My position is elaborated
further
Linking Words
 with reasons and examples. On the one hand, many people believe that increasing numbers of
Add an article
a limousine
the limousine
show examples
limousine
Fix the agreement mistake
limousines
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 in the community have negative effects on the environment and humans
health
Use synonyms
. The foremost reason is air pollution. To elaborate on
this
Linking Words
, it is true that the majority of four-wheelers are using fossil fuels- petrol and diesel. jeep
emit
Correct subject-verb agreement
emits
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 toxic fumes directly into the atmosphere. As the number of cars
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
 in society the rate of carbon monoxide is
also
Linking Words
 rising in the air.
As a result
Linking Words
, the air is contaminated by poisonous gases.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the overall temperature is rising.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it affects the individual's
health
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the polluted atmosphere would be taken by mankind into
society
Add an article
a society
the society
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 which causes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
respiratory disorders among the people. For an instance, according to a survey conducted by the environmental protection department, in ,Ahmedabad the Bopal area was declared a red zone of respiratory illnesses owing to the highest pollution of
breeze
Add an article
a breeze
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 compared to other areas.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others argue that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more important evidence that can contribute to increasing the global heat.
Firstly
Linking Words
, human activities- deforestation.
This
Linking Words
 is to state that, cutting down millions of trees by humans to fulfil their needs will lead to an imbalance in warmth. For example, it is revealed by forestry researchers that deforestation is the major factor behind rising global warming. In conclusion, notwithstanding the usage of cars has an effect on the worldwide climate changes and negative consequences on human
health
Use synonyms
 the other associated factors
such
Linking Words
 as human activities can not be overlooked.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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