IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays people around the world are spending more money on consumer goods like TVs and microwave ovens. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #world #money #consumer #goods #tvs #microwave #ovens #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Excess of anything cannot be good. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 negatively impacts the consumers. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I would illustrate how
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 create an adverse impact on consumers.
Consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 create dependency on them. In the era prior to the development of these items, one would notice families gathering after meals playing board games or interacting with each other. With the birth of these
goods
Use synonyms
, people are being disconnected as they spend their time now in front of the TV than focussing on interpersonal relationships.
Consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 create insecurities. In today's world, we live a life of comparisons. People are constantly comparing their
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 to others on the basis of what they possess. Usage of products like mobile phones, beauty products and other electronic
goods
Use synonyms
 creates social and peer pressure on those who do not own these items. The insecurities of people compel them to buy these products to feel acceptable or socially equivalent to their peers. These
goods
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 harmful to the environment. It is very difficult to sometimes easily recycle these
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 and most of them end up in landfills or oceans if they are not properly
disposed
Add the preposition
ofdisposed
show examples
. Some of these commodities may
also
Linking Words
 release toxic wastes which destroy not only the environment but
also
Linking Words
 affect the health and welfare of the humans who live nearby. To summarize
this
Linking Words
 essay,
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 have created a lifestyle of insecurities, and social disconnections and brought harm to the environment. All of
this
Linking Words
 in my opinion is a negative development.
Submitted by alexkoshy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: