IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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While the growth of online shopping has severely impacted the brick and mortar stores, I disagree that there would be a complete demise of the
shops
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. In
this
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 essay, I will illustrate with examples why I feel
otherwise
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. Online shopping does not provide a personal shopping
experience
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. While online shopping may provide better pricing, a lot of consumers do not want to buy goods without the try, touch and feel
experience
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. As an example, I can think of my spouse who would seldom
shop
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 for a dress online but would rather go from
shop
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 to
shop
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 to buy a dress, ,
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likewise
Add a comma
,likewise
show examples
 if she were to buy a beauty product like lipstick or nail polish, she would rather take the time to go to the
shop
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 where she can
experience
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 the colour or shades and try it before she buys it.
Hence
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, the personal
experience
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that is
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 received in-store is not something that one can receive online. Online shopping does not create a
community
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experience
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. As
,
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apply
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humans we enjoy relationships as well as a local sense of
community
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. While online retailers like Amazon are able to offer and deliver goods at the convenience of a tap on the phone, they do not create a sense of belonging or
community
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experience
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 that local
shops
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 offer. A lot of these local
shops
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 like to support the local
community
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 by not only creating jobs but
also
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 creating an environment where people can meet and interact, and
thus
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 have a
community
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experience
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. To summarize the essay,
shops
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 in towns and cities will continue to exist as they offer meaningful personal and
community
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 experiences that we as humans cannot receive from an online
shop
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.

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