IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people believe that prison is the only way to tackle problem of cirme. On the other hand, people say delivering good education is more effective to cope up with crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #prison #cirme #hand #education #crime
It is argued by some that whether one and only solution handle offences is to put criminals into jail or having better
education
 can solve the criminal offence. While I can understand the former view, I believe that educating people can decrease
crime
 rates. On the one hand, prison can be a great solution to deter people from violating;
however
, it is not the best solution.
Thus
, criminals are put together, and they make friends with other offenders.
Furthermore
, many prisoners re-offend when they are released so that they will pose a threat to society's peace. After prison,
for example
, they would suffer to adopt outside
life
 for having a job due to their criminal records, making new relationships and creating a structure of
life
.
Moreover
, they would not afford to pay bills and shoulder the family's responsibilities, and probably again, they will commit a
crime
.
On the other hand
, I believe it is much more effective having good
education
 to handle crimes.
First
 of all, if prisoners receive
education
 or vocational training, they can be re-integrated into the public.
Education
 aims to make them better citizens, and re-
education
 is the best prevention of
crime
 so that they are less likely to re-offend.
For instance
, they can learn personal skills
such
 as empathy, patience and motivation in
life
.
In addition
, learning job skills gives them an opportunity to acquire a good salary.
Finally
, in my opinion, they will have a better
life
, and the causes of crimes will be extinguished via
education
. In conclusion, while it is considered by many that prison is the only way to control crimes, I believe educating criminals is the best prevention of
crime
.
Submitted by merve.dmryk on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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