IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today people eat more junk food than before it is not because people have unhealthy choices, in fact it is due to the effect of advertisements. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the current
era
Add a comma
,era
show examples
 human beings are having
extra
Add an article
an extra
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 amount of
food
Use synonyms
 which is not good for their health as compared to
earlier
Add an article
the earlier
show examples
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 the reason is not that they have unhealthy choices, it is more because of the
promotion
Use synonyms
. I am of the same opinion, the upcoming paragraph shall elucidate my views with relevant examples. The level of
promotion
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 these days restaurants and
food
Use synonyms
 stalls are doing is attracting more and more people towards them and as the presentation of the dishes are well maintained that many of them can’t stop them without having that junk
food
Use synonyms
 which is totally not good the body.
However
Linking Words
, since many of the
food
Use synonyms
 carts use the same oil or remaining
food
Use synonyms
 of
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 day and just because the look of the
food
Use synonyms
 is good people forget everything and avail it without imagining
the
Change the word
its
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 side effects of it.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by WHO in the year 2017 stated that 90% of the humans
attracts
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attract
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towards
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
food
Use synonyms
 shown
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the TV or on the pamphlet which branded
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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 usually do for
promotion
Use synonyms
 and
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
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 10% of them
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 mostly fitness
freak
Fix the agreement mistake
freaks
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 they only want to focus on healthy
food
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is found that the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 having unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 is watching
food
Use synonyms
 images online and
then
Linking Words
 it
end
Change the verb form
ends
show examples
 up having carving
of
Change preposition
apply
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the junk
food
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to it, there are so many big
food
Use synonyms
 brands which are available over the day and night in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cases what they do for
promotion
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 is send a text of discounts or some kind of deal to existing customers and due to the greed of low price of there favourite
food
Use synonyms
 without any
second
Linking Words
thought
Add a comma
,thought
show examples
 they order the junk
food
Use synonyms
 and have it
although
Linking Words
 they are having so many varieties of
food
Use synonyms
 in the menu list that no one can stop them to order. As it
clear
Add a missing verb
is clear
show examples
 that only because of adverts these days humans don’t think what is good for the body and what is bad they end up eating unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 and even that
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on daily basis.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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