IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The government should allocate more fund to the educational sector than health sector. At what extent do you agree or disagree.

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The funding of both sectors is necessary
for
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in
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 terms of development, but in
this
Linking Words
 ,
essay
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an essay
the essay
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 I will discuss the debate of the adequate funding
to
Change preposition
for
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 the educational sector than
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
health
Use synonyms
 sector The educational
district
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 provides the necessary power of the knowledge one should have in order for a countries development
,
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apply
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 but
then
Linking Words
 comes the issue of the
energy
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district
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 which plays a major role in the
energy
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 of a country, both the
district
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play
Change the verb form
plays
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 an important role in development but to some
extent
Add a comma
,extent
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 the
health
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 sector needs more funding due to the increasing prices and modern
health
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 issues,
energy
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 has always been a priority to all of the human race, and due to
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
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biowar
Correct your spelling
Bioware
 like situation one should consider the
energy
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 to be the most important when it comes to the question of
ones
Correct pronoun usage
one
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 surviving the govt should rather focus on developing the
energy
Use synonyms
district
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 to improve the living and the betterment of the
health
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 of the people , A legend once said "
energy
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 is Wealth" , which properly defines the exact term of
energy
Use synonyms
 being more important than anything , Education nowadays has become available very easily and everywhere , one does not need to attend schools in order to become successful in life, due to Internet the information has been on the fingertips of the people and widely available, which gives the well-being
zone
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 more weightage than the educational
district
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 to be considered more important to be funded The final words for
this
Linking Words
 essay of mine would be that
i
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I
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 support both
Change to a plural noun
zones
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zone
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 as they are necessary but in terms of ,
importance
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the importance
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 I disagree with allocating more funds to the educational
zone
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 than to the well-being
zone
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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