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Band 5

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused bu this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

#people #countryside #cities #towns #bu #situation
Nowadays a lot of young
people
 are looking for big ambitions and
high - quality
Correct your spelling
high-quality
show examples
 knowledge. In the big, city they find all of
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 criteria for a good and comfortable life. At
first
, in my point of view,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 community leaving the environment to live in cities because they want to improve their knowledge and get a decent education. It needs to in the future them can earn a lot. In the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 too hard
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
 to
well
Add a missing verb
be well
show examples
 educated. And that place doesn'
t
 have a good job, so the salary isn'
t
 good. It's one of the most important arguments why young
people
 leave the countryside. They just want to yourself comfortable life.
At
Correct your spelling
A
show examples
second
 reason why
youth
 leaves
villages
Add a comma
,villages
show examples
 it's because
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the small villages have a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
gossips
Fix the agreement mistake
gossip
show examples
. Young
people
 didn'
t
 do something
what
Change the word
that
show examples
 they want. Old
people
 don'
t
 understand them. And it's annoying the young
people
.
Them
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
 don'
t
 open completely full talents. In the small town don'
t
 have a
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
 for
youth
. And it is
second
substancial
Correct your spelling
substantial
 reason for
youth
 to leave
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
. But in my judgment, after
education
Add a comma
,education
show examples
 young
people
 must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
come back your countryside. So that share knowledge and improve
village
Add an article
the village
show examples
. And they can help
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
next
 generation
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 education or
another things
Replace the adjective
another thing
other things
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 they can
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
open in your village language courses or course about high math or something new. Because old
people
 didn'
t
 do anything else. They gave everything
what
Change the word
that
show examples
 they can and
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 step is for the
youth
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to say that, no matter how far they go young
people
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need to come back, and help to old
people
 improve
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 village.
Submitted by k.j.e.94_kz on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Youth migration
  • Demographic composition
  • Sustain
  • Local economies
  • Innovation
  • Agricultural production
  • Labor-intensive
  • Essential services
  • Unsustainable
  • Quality of life
  • Exacerbate
  • Urban congestion
  • Housing shortages
  • Rural infrastructure
  • Investing
  • Industries
  • Generate
  • Job opportunities
  • Enticing
  • Education and training programs
  • Skills
  • Economy
  • Viable
  • Community-driven
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Incentives
  • Startups
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