IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention
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For
long
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a long
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 time, advertising is used as a tool for businesses to sell their products. Today the method of advertising is quite different from the past.
However
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, some
people
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 argue that the benefit is still significantly successful to attract buyers.
On the other hand
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, others argue that advertising is not very special
thus
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people
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 tend to ignore it. In my opinion, advertising is still an essential tool to attract buyers through the
right
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media
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. To start with
currently
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current
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 advertising has been switched from
the
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apply
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offline
media
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 to
the
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apply
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online
media
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. Some
people
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 say that advertising is still useful to draw buyers’ attention.
People
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 today are very involved with social
media
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. It is part of their daily life from waking up to getting
bed
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to bed
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,
people
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 spend hours to look social
media
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. The popular social
media
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 that
frequently
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is frequently
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 opened is Instagram. One of the
strength
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strengths
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 is Instagram has
logics
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logic
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 in the system to analyze
what
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apply
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user’s current
interest
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interests
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thus
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 the
right
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ads
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 will be provided and
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the user
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user
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users
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 will high potentially buy the product.
For example
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, when a woman is frequently searching or liking
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a post
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post
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posts
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 about makeup, Instagram will show many
ads
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that
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apply
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related
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are related
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 to makeup, and she
more
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is more
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 likely to open the product’s account.
On the other hand
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, others are convinced that advertising doesn’t impact
at
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apply
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the selling number. It is considered that
people
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 will highly ignore the
ads
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 which appeared on
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a website
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website
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websites
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that
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apply
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located
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are located
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 at the bottom or top page. While that
kind
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kinds
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 of
ads
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are
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is
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 irrelevant to
people
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’s current
interest
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interests
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 or needs. A good illustration of
this
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 is when
people
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 open
news
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a news
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 website and see
ads
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in
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on
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 some part of the page, they tend to immediately
to
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apply
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close the
ads
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 or even report the
ads
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 to be closed permanently because it blocks the view. In conclusion, advertising with the
right
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media
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 will be a very beneficial tool that potentially
increasing
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increases
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 the selling number. The
ads
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 in the
right
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media
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 will attract more buyers rather than using the wrong
media
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 that be able
to
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apply
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waste the budget because
people
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 will ignore it.
Submitted by nohan.bhadrika on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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