IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some managers encourage their staff to work better by giving them more money. To what extent do you think this policy can be effective? Can you recommend any other methods to achieve this goal?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
having been
desire
Add an article
a desire
the desire
show examples
 for managers, have done better tasks by workers which
hilighted
Correct your spelling
highlighted
 the importance of the role of staff members in the
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
. some factors have
prominent
Add an article
a prominent
show examples
 role in
in
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
order to have done
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a desirable manner. in
this
Linking Words
matter
Add a comma
,matter
show examples
 someones believe that the challenges of working would be
inhanced
Correct your spelling
enhanced
 by allocating more budget to the staff members.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that giving
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 to
somone
Correct your spelling
someone
 who
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
seek
Wrong verb form
seeking
show examples
 money can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to
discouraging
Replace the word
discouragement
show examples
. by using critical points in
this
Linking Words
 essay, leaders will be expected to be
Add an article
a success
show examples
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 in
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
/ her occupation. it's
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
Add the particle
to believe
show examples
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 that earning money is highly sweat for everyone to the extent that nearly all efforts having done to make more and more. by the way,
although
Linking Words
,
grasp
Wrong verb form
grasping
show examples
 more income lifts the spirits of job seekers, it may not be the strongest way to serve the purpose in the self-
empleyed
Correct your spelling
employed
 company
for example
Linking Words
. it has
seen
Add a missing verb
been seen
show examples
 that workers as so as
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
 money, a sense of "earn what they have desired" leads to less willingness in the defined tasks. but a remarkable question is that to what extent the
enterprenuer
Correct your spelling
entrepreneur
entrepreneurs
 should give reward to the workers? it seems it would be better
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 according to the personality and
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 atmosphere rewards should be taken in
notice
Add an article
the notice
show examples
. when it comes to
being prosper
Change the verb form
prospering
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
a self-
show examples
self- company
Correct your spelling
self-company
show examples
, the importance of
powerful
Correct article usage
a powerful
show examples
 manager is remarkable. it means
Add the particle
to make
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a proper relationship with each member is critically unavoidable. knowing about personality,
Correct your spelling
feelings
show examples
fellings
Correct your spelling
feelings
show examples
 and attitude of ones is essentially not only in the workplace
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 in the all parts of our lives which brings unbelievable results provided that these
aquired
Correct your spelling
acquired
 information
fron
Correct your spelling
from
 people be correct. the fact is that famous leaders and decent managers are in common
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the point of appropriate contact with
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 hold the view that to reach a desirable outcome in work created, it would be better
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 unforget the miracle of good communication. so,
Add an article
the manager
a manager
show examples
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
show examples
 should have faced a problem in their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, a logical relation may be helpful.
at
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 the end,
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
show examples
 the people without proper communication would be bound to fail.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: