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Band 4

Everyone should be required to stay in school til age of 18 . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#school #til #age
Education is the bedrock of any meaningful development in any
Country
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country
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 and
as a result
, the younger generation should be allowed to
remained
Change the form of the verb
remain
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 in
classroom
Add an article
the classroom
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 till
attainment
Correct article usage
the attainment
show examples
 of
adulthood
. The younger generation
learn
Change the verb form
learns
show examples
 faster in their formative years and would
therefore
 be imperative for them to be encouraged to stay in school to afford external influences.
This
 essay tends to discuss the merits of why
children
 should be encouraged to learn till the age of 18.
Firstly
, the education of every child should be of top-most priority
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 any Country and the young
children
 should be encouraged to learn at their early stages. It is a well-established fact that the best time for educating young minds
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the formative years
where
Correct word choice
when
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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cognitive reasoning is still very active. Most scholars believe that the brains of the younger generations are more creative in thinking,
assimilation
Correct word choice
and assimilation
show examples
 of information and
also
,
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apply
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 can be easily
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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influenced by experienced external parties who have been exposed to challenges associated with
adulthood
.
Also
, it is a well-known fact that the brains of
children
 do not fully develop till the age of 18 and irrespective of whether they show signs of maturity with regard to their body features, they are still regarded as
children
 scientifically. They require the guidance of their parents and teachers in order to ensure they are well equipped with the basic information about life before being introduced to deal with the issues that
comes
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come
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 with
adulthood
.
In addition
,
children
 who are not well educated or informed before
adulthood
 are more venerable to sexual
abuses
Fix the agreement mistake
abuse
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 than their counterparts. In conclusion, parents should take ensure their wards remain in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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 till
adulthood
 so they are well informed about life and the society that will be exposed to at the end of
day
Add an article
the day
show examples
.
Submitted by Efepalmer250 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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