IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The museum is a historical treasure of every culture. It is a widely held opinion that people should pay to charge to enter the
museums
Use synonyms
, whereas some
museums
Use synonyms
 provide the services free of cost. There are both pros and cons of paying taxes for the charge that and I will discuss them in
this
Linking Words
 essay
further
Linking Words
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
museums
Use synonyms
 can gather money from the fees and enhance their conditions. Taking advantage of an entrance fee for visitors has generally beneficial effects on
museums
Use synonyms
. With the collected money, the conditions of detention could be advanced.
For example
Linking Words
, many reports show that most of the paid
museums
Use synonyms
 in Lima are well-kept and offer a better experience.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
museums
Use synonyms
 with free entrance,
museums
Use synonyms
 with an admission fee rarely have myriads of visitors. Because of their cost, not every average-fortuned person could afford the entrance ticket, so the visitor's number will decline. To recap, whereas charging people for admission to
museums
Use synonyms
 can offer several benefits through improving installations, it can
also
Linking Words
 reduce the number of visitors who want to go without being charged a fee. Despite having some negative impacts, I believe that the admission payment to the museum outweighs the disadvantages.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: