IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is difficult for people in the cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and solutions?

#people #cities #exercise
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Doing yoga and exercise is the key to
the
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a
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 healthy life. Nowadays, it has been impossible for the population living in
the
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apply
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rural areas to do any kind of physical
exercises
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exercise
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.The following essay will throw light on what can be the reasons behind
this
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also
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and also
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 suggest some remedies to overcome
this
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 problem. To commence with,
people
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 in the big cities have a very hectic schedule.They usually
work
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 from morning to afternoon and it is obvious that after their office hours they get exhausted which makes them
deperive
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deprive
 from going to gyms or jogging or even for walking.
For example
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, there are certain software big companies in
city
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cities
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 like Bombay,India where the software developers have to
work
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 day or night
fot
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for
 their firms.There are times when are
are
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apply
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on call which means they can be called anytime by their employer to
work
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.
Moreover
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, when folks are paid double
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then
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than
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 their regular wage for the overtime they do
then
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 they only aim to
work
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 as much as they can and
thus
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ending
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end
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 up having no time available for any
excercise
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exercise
. Having said
this
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,
population
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the population
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 should try to
se
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see
use
set
 their priorities.They should set a schedule in
a
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apply
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such
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 way that they manage to have
atleast
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at least
 30 minutes for the physical activities.
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Work places
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Workplaces
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 should
also
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 give an hour break to their employees out of which half an hour must be for their gym if they wish to.
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Government
Goverment
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The goverment
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 should set up some
oragnisations
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organisations
 to make
people
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 aware of the benefits of
excercises
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exercises
exercise
 and they should hire some trainers that can go from community to community to create
interests
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interest
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 in the
people
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 and can indulge them in
such
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 activities. Despite
of
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apply
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having a busy life
people
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 should understand that if they are not healthy wealth is not going to be of any use.
Therefore
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, they should try to engage themselves in physical activities to ensure they are healthy and active.
Submitted by simranminhas915 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
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