Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities.
Nowadays a
lot
of large business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
such
as supermarkets
have been improved fastly and have become widespread in the world, therefore
a lot
of small business
have affected and lost the ability to rival. Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
Large
number of Change the article
A large
The large
people
believe that closing like
Change preposition
apply
these small
Change the determiner
this small business
these small businesses
business
will impact negatively and might destroy the local communities.
Firstly
, small business
play an important function in keeping the economy of local communities safe. In fact,local communities are vital because a Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
lot
of factories rely on to
sell their products Correct pronoun usage
them to
thus
without these small
Change the determiner
this small business
these small businesses
business
,large
number of factories will Change the article
a large
the large
be threaten
to close Change the verb form
threaten
as a result
a lot
workers might lose their jobs and lead to Add the preposition
oflot
increase
the idleness. Correct article usage
an increase
For example
,in some Mediterranean countries
Add a comma
,countries
they
are completely Correct pronoun usage
apply
depend
on a small Replace the word
dependent
business
.Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
In addition
,there is a study says that roughly 80% percent
of a Change the spelling
per cent
people
tend to buy their requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
such
as foods and vegetables from small supermarkets
because they found them cheaper than large
Change preposition
in large
supermarkets
therefore
without these local
Change the determiner
this local business
these local businesses
business
the standard of the life
would be very expensive and a people
can not afford it.
Secondly
, absence
of local businesses will make Correct article usage
the absence
the
Correct article usage
apply
life
very complicated for the people
who life
in Replace the word
live
a
countryside areas.Correct article usage
the
Moreover
, in many Mediterranean countries,most people
live in cities consequently
large supermarkets
not
exist in Add a missing verb
do not
a
countrysideCorrect article usage
the
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
as a result
the people
who live there buy their need
from the Fix the agreement mistake
needs
the
small Remove the redundancy
apply
supermarkets
consequently
we can not imagine our life
without these small supermarket
.
In conclusion,despite large Change the determiner
this small supermarket
these small supermarkets
supermarkets
are important in our life
since there are comprehensive and supply us with our Replace the word
lives
need
, Fix the agreement mistake
needs
however
small Add the comma(s)
,however
supermarkets
are also
important and we have Fix the infinitive
to support
support
them.Change the verb form
supported
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.