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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

#food #drink #products #level #sugar #health #people
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Some
people
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 think that sugary
products
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 which
people
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 consume should be charged at a high
price
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 to push
people
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 to consume low
sugar
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 food and drink. So the condition can mitigate health problems caused by high
sugar
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products
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. I would argue that I tend to disagree with
this
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 statement. As I see it, how much
people
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 consume
sugar
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products
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 is an individual right. External factors through increasing the
price
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 of sugary
products
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 will not
last
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 long and are significant,
therefore
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 the
alternative
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 is required. It is true that every country around the world is not able to be separated from foods and drinks that contain
sugar
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, and each country or region has sweet signature dishes, which may contain a high level of
sugar
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. The condition makes many
people
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 around the world have a strong sweet tooth. If there is a condition where forcing the
price
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 of
sugar
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products
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 becomes high,
then
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 the sweet-tooth
people
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 might reduce to consumption.
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Otherwise
Add a comma
,Otherwise
show examples
 it will be temporary because habit is not formed. When the sweet-tooth
people
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 get bored and crave something sweet, they will buy
sugar
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products
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 whatever the
price
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 is pretty high. More, importantly is how to form a long-term habit. It can be started with
education
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 on the introduction of
alternative
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products
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 that do not eliminate the sweet taste
that is
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 usually consumed by
sugar
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 lovers.
In addition
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,
education
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 material can add the benefit of
alternative
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products
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 that be able to maintain a healthier body and become health savings in old age.
Education
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 can be through socialization by influencers or regular public service advertisements for the benefits of using
alternative
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products
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. Overall, increasing the
price
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 of
sugar
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-containing
products
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 will be temporary because it does not form a habit, but
education
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 on the introduction of
alternative
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products
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 with a similar taste will make
sugar
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 lovers interested and apply for a long-term period.
Submitted by nohan.bhadrika on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar consumption
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • encourage
  • expensive
  • reduce
  • effectively
  • discourage
  • tight budget
  • purchasing
  • disproportionately
  • lower-income individuals
  • healthier food choices
  • demand
  • regardless
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