IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Most large companies nowadays operate multinationally. To what extent multinational companies have responsability toward local communities in which they operate?

Currently, enormous corporations
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
 across the globe.
According to
Linking Words
 it,
companies
Use synonyms
 have obligations towards local communities. For
this
Linking Words
 essay, these massive
companies
Use synonyms
 will notably have to take care of economic and,
also
Linking Words
, ecological matters for affected communities involved with their activities. When it comes to economic conscientization,
current
Correct article usage
the current
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 built
factories
Use synonyms
 of multi corporations are a main focus of work and economic activity. Concentrating all the economic activity in a specific place can be risky
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 the stability of a population can be at risk.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it is necessary to deploy mandatory safeguards to
their
Verb problem
protect their
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 people, securing their
job
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jobs
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 and basic amenities.
For instance
Linking Words
, because of the
independentist votation
Check wording
independence vote
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 in Catalonia, a large
quantity
Check wording
number
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 of multinationals had started to
departure
Replace the word
depart
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to
Change preposition
for
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 more stable countries. Owing to these movements, large
poblational
Correct your spelling
population
nucleus
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nuclei
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 were abandoned, losing their main working activity. Another fact to consider is the polluting damage dealt by these
companies
Use synonyms
 with their
factories
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. It is generally known that large
factories
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 are massive polluting
gases
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gas
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emmisors
Correct your spelling
emitters
, generating a high carbon footprint.
As a result
Linking Words
 of the generated pollution, a large quantity of
gobernments
Correct your spelling
governments
 force these corporations to pay extra fines and a series of penalties if they exceed imposed polluting measures, elaborating counter measures to battle the generated emissions.
For example
Linking Words
, China, as the world's factory, is
ecologic
Replace the word
ecologically
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responsable
Correct your spelling
responsible
 with the local
factories
Use synonyms
Linking Words
thus
Punctuation problem
, thus
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 it is creating renewable energy tools and measures.
Finally
Linking Words
,
companies
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'
awarenesses
Use the right word
awareness
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 mainly managed by local governments, making them
to
Verb problem
apply
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follow agreed contracts or
to
Verb problem
apply
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deploy fines, in case
factories
Use synonyms
 are dangerous for the local fauna and flora, including the local population.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear start, a body that has three main ideas, and a final clear end.
coherence
Put one main idea in each paragraph and keep to it.
cohesion
Use simple links to show how ideas fit together, like 'also', 'and', 'but', 'yet'.
examples
Give real, clear examples to back up your point.
grammar
Check grammar and word form, like verb tense and plural, so sentences stay right.
content
You show a view that big firms have a duty to people around them.
content
The topic is clear and you try two big ideas: money and the earth.
content
There are real ideas like how big firms may affect jobs and pollution.
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