IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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There is no doubt that
food
Use synonyms
 and water are the two most essential elements for humans to survive. While we can clearly see many improvements and developments happening lately in the field of agriculture, some people still suffer from
starvations
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starvation
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 around the world. It is a global issue that needs more attention. In
this
Linking Words
essay
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,essay
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 I will be discussing some possible causes and solutions for
such
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 a disaster. One of the main reasons for
starvations
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starvation
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 is the significant increase in
food
Use synonyms
 prices. While we can observe many families having dinner at fancy restaurants, some others can be found looking for
food
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at
Change preposition
in
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 the backdoors of the same restaurants.
This
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 is due to the unbelievable cost that one has to pay for a decent meal. Which made it harder for underpaid and unemployed to feed their families. A rather obvious solution would be lowering the prices of the over-priced essential
food
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 ingredients.
Linking Words
Second
Add an article
A second
The second
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 possible factor contributing to people dying of hunger would be the decline in
Correct article usage
the numbers
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numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of people working in the
food
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 production industry. While we all love to visit farms, farmers are moving out towards the city, looking for new job opportunities. Even Though
,
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apply
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Correct your spelling
the
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he
Correct your spelling
the
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 reason behind
this
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 is not crystal clear, one could argue that they are looking for a better standard of living. To simply solve
this
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 problem the Government need to ensure a reasonable quality of living, for everyone working in
this
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 field. In conclusion, the unexpected rise in
food
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 prices and farmers
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quitting
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quieting
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quitting
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 their jobs can be two of the main reasons leading to hungry humans suffering.
However
Linking Words
, the situation might improve with simple fixes.
For example
Linking Words
, limiting the price range and supporting farmers. Countries around the world need to exert more effort to solve any
sartvations
Correct your spelling
situations
salvations
.
Submitted by kholoudhassan1133 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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