IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #credit #cards #purchases #outweigh
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Nowadays, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who use
credit
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
 to buy products rises a lot. It is usual to observe that almost every adult has at least one
credit
Use synonyms
 card. There are several pros and cons
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using
credit
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, with
credit
Use synonyms
cards
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,
people
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 can buy many goods that they desire.
This
Linking Words
 means that they can borrow some money to pay for the stuff
first
Linking Words
 and pay the bill in the future.
Moreover
Linking Words
, since most of the
cards
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 have
bonus
Add an article
a bonus
show examples
 feedback system,
people
Use synonyms
 can acquire
2
Correct article usage
a 2
show examples
% of
bonus
Correct article usage
the bonus
show examples
 from the bank.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 may not aware of the period to pay the bill. Under
this
Linking Words
 circumstance, they would be punished by the bank and need to pay more
next
Linking Words
 month with
19
Correct article usage
a 19
show examples
% interest rate. As long as
ones
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 indulge in
this
Linking Words
 routine, it is hard for
people
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 to get out of
this
Linking Words
high interest
Add a hyphen
high-interest
show examples
 rate and would create more debt in the future.
In addition
Linking Words
, because the inflation rate keeps increasing, the value of
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
fiet
Correct your spelling
fiat
feet
 money will become less in the future.
Therefore
Linking Words
, buying products with
credit
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cards
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 actually is a wise shopping method. For me, the value of 100 dollars now is more valuable than the value of 100 dollars after one month.
However
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, there is an
exception
Replace the word
exceptional
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 country, Japan. Japan is the only
coutry
Correct your spelling
country
 in the world that always suffering deflation, so I recommend that
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
 should shop
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 cash.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least,
in
Change preposition
apply
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many countries, they use the
credit
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 point system to calculate citizens'
credit
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 and banks would issue loans according to customers'
credit
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 points. Specifically, owning a
credit
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 card can add
credit
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 points to
people
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. Undoubtedly, we all need
credit
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 points to help lower our loans. To sum up,
although
Linking Words
 there are several downwards of having
credit
Use synonyms
cards
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, I think the merits outweigh the demerits. Without owning them, we would lose many things.
Submitted by vivian.88610 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cashless transactions
  • Financial footprint
  • Interest rates
  • Credit score
  • Consumerism
  • Debt accumulation
  • Expenditure tracking
  • Fraudulent activities
  • Overspending
  • Purchase protection
  • Revolving credit
  • Creditworthiness
  • Impulse buying
  • Secured credit card
  • Unsecured credit card
  • Spending limit
What to do next:
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