Many believe that it is important to protect all wild animals, while others think that it is important to protect some, not all of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Whereas
some people are of the notion that all animals should be considered in terms of protection,the opponents,including me,believe there are some species that are more indispensable to be monitored.Linking Words
However
,different aspects are uttered here.
One of the most highlighted reasons behind the concentration on some special creatures has to do with the restricted financial resources that are Linking Words
in access
for spending in Correct word choice
accessible
this
realm.Linking Words
Therefore
,practically, it is infeasible to save whole Linking Words
the
animals .Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
,some animals play a critical role in the environment,as they not only control the population of other ones by preying on them but Linking Words
also
provide Linking Words
the
food resources for other predators.As a vivid case,Correct article usage
apply
while
snakes eat mice,they are served by some owls,Linking Words
for example
,Linking Words
hence
,they have an undeniable impression on balancing nature.
Linking Words
On the other hand
,if any of the individuals Linking Words
be
extinct,its dire consequences would dominate nature.To illustrate,the number of both their hunters would plummet drastically,Wrong verb form
were
versus
their prey Change preposition
while
will
spread very fast in a region.Wrong verb form
would
For instance
,if cats vanish from the earth,Linking Words
then
,mice would become troublesome, who used to be eaten by cats.Linking Words
Moreover
,paying attention to some societies would interfere with the natural approach of choosing the best generation.To illustrate,when humans pay a lot of attention to saving a special type of animal,it means that they are Linking Words
treating
against the environmental urge.
Verb problem
fighting
To conclude
,Linking Words
whereas
all creatures are crucial for the globe and deserve to be considered by folks,to me,there are some significant generations that can balance the ecosystem if are assisted to survive the obstacles that exist on their way to continue their lives on the earth.Linking Words
Submitted by drpnima on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Essay Feedback
The introduction and conclusion are somewhat present but need to be more well-defined and impactful. The supporting points are clear and relevant, but the essay lacks in providing a complete response and comprehensive ideas. Specific examples are provided, but could be more detailed and interconnected. The logical structure is present but could be further developed for better coherence and cohesion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?