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Band 4.5

Many people today are worried about ‘cybercrime’such as hacking and identity theft. What problems does ‘cybercrime’ cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and businesses to take?

#people #‘cybercrime’such #identity #theft #‘cybercrime’ #businesses
As the world developed more and more, the technology is advanced along with it and we get to the era of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
for
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apply
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now. When pros are appeared because of the
internet
, there are
also
 cons arrived with them. For cons,
such
 as hacking and identity theft called cybercrime are the things which many
people
 in society worried nowadays. In
this
 essay, I will describe which difficulties and problems are caused by them to
people
 and which
measurements
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measures
show examples
 and precautions should be taken into consideration to prevent
from
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apply
show examples
them.
Firstly
, hacking in the means of stealing private
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
 of individuals or organizations
from
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apply
show examples
online can cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cyberbullying and blackmailing
to
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of
show examples
 the victims.
For example
, most young girls in the world nowadays are targeted and blackmailed by
cyber criminals
Correct your spelling
cybercriminals
show examples
 by stealing their private
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
 and imitating their identity.
Furthermore
, if someone got hacked, it can be
also
 their bank accounts and sometimes can get end up being wiped out all of their money
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
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 banks. For businesses, it will be really crucial when it comes to
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
, their opponents and rivals can get their important secrets about successful products if they got hacked. Turning to solutions,
people
 should not click or open anything which was sent by
unknown
Correct article usage
an unknown
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 person or strangers
from
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apply
show examples
online because if they
open
Correct pronoun usage
itopen
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, they got directed into websites or applications that are similar to originals created by criminals to deceive victims to enter their critical
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
.
Moreover
, they should never answer their security numbers or passwords to anyone whatever they said as legitimate
stuff
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staff
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 will never ask you something like that. When it comes to businesses, business owners should not be stingy
to
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with
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 security and hire high-level cyber security. Overall, it can be said that
people
 should use
internet
cautions
Fix the agreement mistake
caution
show examples
 and should not trust everything they see online. By doing so, they can use the
internet
 without needing to
afraid
Add a missing verb
be afraid
show examples
 of cybercrimes with the ease of mind
Submitted by ivvitest3 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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