Many people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Today, technology fills almost every aspect of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. It makes our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
convenient and effective.
While
I agree scientific
research
is very important, I do not agree it should be controlled by the government
instead
of private
companies
. One of the significant benefits that private
companies
bring is a healthy competition environment. If
governments
control all the scientific
research
institutions, the competition will not be about what kind of new ideas they have, whose formula works better, or whose underlying logic is more efficient. It will always be whose department has more power,
who
Correct word choice
and who
show examples
has a higher authority. The basic root
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
scientific
research
competition is ruined.
On the contrary
, private
companies
are invested by private investors, to survive in the business world under the same laws and rules, they need to try their best to make their
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
more effective, more healthy, and more profitable.
Moreover
, private
companies
are truly following the rule: 'the needs of many outweigh the needs of few', and democracy is real here. The most profitable way is to satisfy customers as
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
as possible, which is why most scientific products are targeted
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
general public. To various
people
, capital is a negative word, it is always associated with greed. But from a certain perspective, if a company is popular among
people
, that means the consumers need it,
its
Correct word choice
and its
show examples
products can improve
people
's life quality.
By contrast
, one word liked by numerous
governments
is national interest. I have to admit
this
is crucial to
people
of the same nationality most of the time. But how many policies hurt their
people
in the name of national interests? If a company
did
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
something wrong, consumers can boycott by stopping buying their products or even sue them in court. If the
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
did something wrong, the unsatisfactory actions are called riots. No one can defeat a team that can be
player
Correct article usage
a player
show examples
and referee at the same time.
This
is not good for the development of scientific
research
. In conclusion, with proper guidance and legal framework, I think scientific
research
will have a brighter future under the control of private
companies
instead
of
governments
.
Submitted by baoyiran019 on

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task achievement
You have made a complete and relevant response to the task, which is great. However, incorporating a few more specific examples could strengthen your arguments. Consider providing concrete instances where private companies have driven significant research advancements.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are clearly articulated, but sometimes the transitions between points could be smoother. Consider using more linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively summarize your main points.
task achievement
You maintained a clear stance throughout the essay, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • government oversight
  • ethical guidelines
  • public interest
  • public funding
  • transparency
  • widespread access
  • long-term societal benefits
  • profit motive
  • biased findings
  • restricted research
  • collaboration
  • bureaucratic delays
  • political influence
  • innovation
  • regulations
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