IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

BIG SALARY IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN JOB SATISFACTION. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#salary #job #satisfaction
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Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
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,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 number of
people
Use synonyms
 think earning a
lot
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 of
money
Use synonyms
 is more significant than the
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 of
work
Use synonyms
 when they choose a
job
Use synonyms
. I partially agree because
althogh
Correct your spelling
although
 receiving a
lot
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 of salaries gives
people
Use synonyms
 many advantages,
this
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 cannot be
any
Correct your spelling
an
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 alternative to the
satisfaction
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 of
work
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.
Firstly
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, earning a
lot
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 of
money
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 working
people
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 with a chance to improve the quality of their lives. It is commonly known that
money
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 can help
people
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 satisfy their desire
such
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 as luxurious life. In
this
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 respect, if human beings have a
lot
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 of
money
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, they can
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
 fancy accommodations and enjoy a
lot
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 of
acitivities
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activities
 that are costly
such
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 as purchasing products and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 abroad It is clear that by spending a
Use synonyms
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
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money
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, they feel joy and
happy
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happiness
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 from their lives and remind of the reason for
maintain
Change the verb form
maintaining
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 their
job
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 continually.
Therefore
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, it is evident that
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 salary is the most significant factor
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others. In spite of the above view,
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
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 is a pivotal role in having an occupation. because
this
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 helps
people
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 who have a
job
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work
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 for a longer time than a higher salary.
For instance
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, Korean Times has reported that
people
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 regard finishing their
work
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 on time as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
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 and the number of
people
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 who
work
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 consider that
this
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 is important since after their
work
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 they can spend more time for themselves.
This
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 helps
people
Use synonyms
 relieve stress and focus on their
work
Use synonyms
 more.
Therefore
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, it is clear that earning a
lot
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 of salaries cannot be changed to
work
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 as the most significant factor when working. In conclusion, it is undeniable that the value of
money
Use synonyms
ocuppy
Correct your spelling
occupy
 the large part of our life, but
this
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 cannot be
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
 choice when
people
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 have a
job
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by thgus6883 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: