IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on the earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planet to live such as Mars To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #earth #people #money #planet
These days,
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 existence of
life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
planet
Fix the agreement mistake
planets
show examples
 is heated controversy in the whole world. In the years to come, it is predicted that people’s
lives
 will seemingly face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some difficulties on the earth. There is a common belief that more budget and funding should invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 investigating to
discovery
Replace the word
discover
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 possibility of
life
 on the alien
planet
. I am convinced that the critical environmental issues may lead individuals to live
Change preposition
on other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another planet
other planets
show examples
planet
,
therefore
 it is essential to do research exactly. Indeed, individuals’
lives
involved
Add a missing verb
are involved
show examples
 in some serious environmental problems, one of the most critical issues would
deplete
Replace the word
depletion
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 ozone layer. The number of means of transportation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 increasing on the street that these are emitting
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge amount of the pollutants into
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
 daily.
as a result
, it will apparently cause global warming and
also
 rising sea level, so inhabitants’
lives
 will be prone to destroying on the current
planet
.
In addition
,
farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
show examples
 and
manufacturer
Fix the agreement mistake
manufacturers
show examples
 may bring about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soil
 erosion.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Heavy machinery like tractors which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 for cultivation and
also
 cutting down trees by the large company can lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soil
 erosion which is unsuitable for growing. As a consequence, these activities can ruin our earth that future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 for
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 rest of
life
 will have to need to live on
alien
Add an article
an alien
show examples
planet
Fix the agreement mistake
planets
show examples
.
In addition
, spending money in order to study the existence of
life
 on other
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
 is crucial because scientists and pioneer companies would facilitate access to
this
 accomplishment. Take NASA as an example, has been investing
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 amount of money in
this
 innovative project that can find an appropriate
soil
 on the MARS to cultivate.
Therefore
, these steps can create a new way to live
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
alien
Correct article usage
an alien
show examples
 environment. In conclusion, it is inevitable that our
planet
overwhelmed
Add a missing verb
is overwhelmed
show examples
 with a lot of critical concerns
such
 as depleting
ozone
Correct article usage
the ozone
show examples
 layer and
soil
 erosion.
Besides
this
, investing budget
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
other plant
Change the wording
another plant
other plants
show examples
 will create an innovative way to preserve
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 generation’s
lives
 in the future.
Submitted by shokoohghavami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: